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Band 7.5

Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important to a child’s development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#art #classes #child’s #development #subjects #schools
Many strongly believe that art lessons namely painting or drawing play an important role in the progress of children compared to other
subjects
;
hence
, it is mandatory for high schoolers. From my point of view,
although
 those classes are necessary for the growth of teenagers, they should only be optional at
school
. It is obvious that the development of many children relates directly to art areas. Painting and drawing enhance their emotional intelligence,
while
 math offers a lot of chances to foster their mental ability and problem-solving skills by working with digital.
In addition
, by paying attention to these classes, high
school
 students have more opportunities to observe and understand the emotions and messages of artists better.
As a result
, they can come up with more ideas to increase the ability to communicate with others; in turn, can
also
 connect and create various great relationships.
On the other hand
, no matter how important these
subjects
 are, they should be optional for teenagers
while
 studying and exploring new knowledge. The first reason is that if painting lessons are compulsory at
school
, boredom can stress the students out, putting a lot of pressure on them. Vietnamese students are the best example of
this
 phenomenon. They have to learn many mandatory
subjects
such
 as math, chemistry or physics.
Additionally
, it is difficult for everyone to improve their artistic skills in a short time, which may negatively affect the students’ results
at the end
 of the term.
Instead
, they can spend
this
 time on their other essential
subjects
 for university, so they can dedicate themselves to their passions and personal goals in life. In conclusion, in spite of several distinctive benefits of other
subjects
 in high
school
, art classes are indispensable. To be honest, it does not need to be compulsory in high schools.

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coherence cohesion
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task achievement
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task achievement
Utilize more relevant and specific examples to support your points further. This can help in illustrating your main ideas clearly.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively frame the essay.
coherence cohesion
The main points are well-supported with appropriate reasoning, indicating a thoughtful approach.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cognitive development
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Emotional expression
  • Mental health
  • Cultural awareness
  • Diversity and inclusion
  • Fine motor skills
  • Hand-eye coordination
  • Academic performance
  • Artistic engagement
  • Career opportunities
  • Creative fields
  • Graphic design
  • Architecture
  • Game development
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