Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

There are competing views on whether to make changes in life.
Although
change
always involves
risks
, I still think that it is always good to make changes because, in the long run,
people
will gain more from the changes they
made
Wrong verb form
make
show examples
than they
lase
Correct your spelling
lose
show examples
.
People
who resist
change
may be too afraid of the
risks
involved. Take,
for example
, those who choose to stay in a low-paying job they hate. They may fear that if they resign, they may be unable to find a new one.
However
,I do not think maintaining the status quo can help them avoid
risks
. Sooner or later, they will lose their low-level jobs to automation. In fact, as the
billianaire
Correct your spelling
billionaire
entrepreneur Peter Thiel said, "
in
Capitalize word
In
show examples
a world that's changing so quickly, the biggest risk you can take is not taking any risk. Others,
on the other hand
, argue that
change
is always a good thing because it is the only way to succeed in the long run. If
super successful
Add a hyphen
super-successful
show examples
people
and organizations are examined, it
wil
Correct your spelling
will
be found that they all have one thing in common: They keep trying new things. They are willing to experiment and
faila
Correct your spelling
fail a
fail
failed
lot in order to innovate.
This
may have downsides in the short term but allows them to remain relevant and competitive over longer periods of time.I agree with
this
argument because if
aperson
Correct your spelling
a person
is stagnant for the sake of short-term comfort, they
wil
Correct your spelling
will
be guaranteed to fail in the longer term. In conclusion,
although
a shift in direction comes with
risks
, in the long
run
Add the comma(s)
run,
show examples
people
wil
Correct your spelling
will
benefit from the shift they made.
Therefore
,
change
is always a good thing when thinking
long term
Add a hyphen
long-term
show examples
.
Submitted by haixiuxiaonini on

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task achievement
Ensure all examples used are specific and directly relevant to the topic at hand. For instance, when discussing people who resist change, incorporating more concrete examples can better underscore your points. Details such as industry-specific examples or personal anecdotes could enhance clarity and relevance.
coherence cohesion
Double-check for grammatical errors and typos. There are minor issues like 'wil' instead of 'will' and 'billianaire' instead of 'billionaire' that can affect the overall readability. A thorough proofread can solve these issues.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is logically structured, with clear arguments for both perspectives and a well-stated opinion. This shows a good understanding of essay structure and coherence.
task achievement
The use of quotes and references to well-known figures, such as Peter Thiel, adds a level of depth and credibility to your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • status quo
  • stagnation
  • routine
  • comfort zone
  • predictability
  • specialization
  • innate
  • personal growth
  • adaptability
  • fast-paced
  • new horizons
  • equilibrium
  • progress
  • dynamic
  • transformation
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