IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people think that parents should be punished if their children commit crimes because they are responsible for their children's actions To what extent do you agree or disagree

#people #parents #children #crimes #actions
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Unquestionably, every coin has
two
 sides and so are the
people
. Society’s
people
 are divided into
two
 groups and
therefore
, parents having to punish their kids has become a topic of debate among
people
.
This
 essay will compare and contrast both of the opinions
along with
 my opinion which is in the favour of latter
view
 will be discussed in a sensible conclusion. Initiating with the points supporting
first
Change the article
the first
show examples
 school of thought,
firstly
,_
Introduction
Correct article usage
the Introduction
show examples
 Unquestionably, every coin has
two
 sides and so are the
people
. Society’s
people
 are divided into
two
 groups and
therefore
, ______________ has become a topic of debate among
people
.
This
 essay will compare and contrast both of the opinions
along with
 my opinion which is in the favour of former/latter
view
 will be discussed in a sensible conclusion. On its contrasting side,
people
 who held another
view point
Correct your spelling
viewpoint
show examples
 say that_______________. They believe that,_____________.
Furthermore
/
Moreover
/
In addition
, ___________________
To conclude
, I would like to say that,__________________(your opinion).
However
, it will depend upon the mindsets of the
people
that
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 which
view
 they are in favour of. The
people
 who support
this
 say that, (example)______________.
Secondly
,__________________. In fact,___________________.
As a consequence
 ,____________.
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task achievement
The essay should incorporate clear and comprehensive ideas in each body paragraph to ensure the reader understands the arguments being made. Improve clarity by directly addressing the topic and providing specific arguments.
task achievement
Each point introduced should be supported with relevant and specific examples to strengthen the argument. Real-life examples, statistical data, or hypothetical scenarios can help in making the arguments more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
To enhance logical structure, make sure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Use clear topic sentences and connect each point logically to the previous and next points.
coherence cohesion
Make sure the introduction is strong and clearly introduces the topic and the main arguments. The conclusion should restate your opinion and summarize the main points discussed in the essay. Additionally, ensure the body paragraphs are connected to the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
The introduction is clear and sets up the comparison of both sides of the argument effectively.
coherence cohesion
The essay contains a strong conclusion that summarizes the main points and states the writer's opinion concisely.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Parental responsibility
  • Upbringing
  • Influence
  • Accountability
  • Ethically justifiable
  • Legal ramifications
  • Systemic issues
  • Community programs
  • Personal choice
  • Peer influence
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