some people believe that everyone has a right to have access to university education and that governments should make it free for all students no matter what financial background they have. To what extent do you agree or disagree ? Nhi

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Not only family
,
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, but
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university
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also
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is
a
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an
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extremely important place to form human personality and qualities. In my opinion, I strongly agree that
goverments
Correct your spelling
governments
government
should create opportunities
about
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for
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tuition for all
students
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to approach higher education
without
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apply
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regardless of their social class. 
Firstly
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,
students
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acessing
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accessing
to
university
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education have complete knowledge and the ability to find occupation more easily.
Therefore
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, the
propotion
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proportion
of unemployees
Verb problem
has
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is decrease
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is decreased
is decreasing
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, the country has many talented
person
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people
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and has a positive view towards diplomatic countries.
This
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leads to
economic
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the economic
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develoment
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development
of the country. To be specific, there are plenty of universities from powerful countries
such
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as
:
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apply
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America , England and
Chiness
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China
that provide a various type
partial
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of partial
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and full scholarships for all
students
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who are from developing countries to experience high-class education and extend international relations.
Secondly
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,
lost
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losing
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the right to study or
Correct article usage
an uncomplete
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uncomplete
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incomplete
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university
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will limit the development of human vision. There is a huge amount
people
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of people
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does not have the ability to access or
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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to drop out of
university
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midway just
because
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because of
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their difficult circumstances.
For
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this
Linking Words
reason, individuals with less
knowlege
Correct your spelling
knowledge
will
be lost
Wrong verb form
lose
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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important positions in society. In one aspect of life, people giving up study have to deal with judgment and social class discrimination.
For example
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, it is not uncommon for companies to require employees to have a
university
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qualification and have some
considerble
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considerable
experiences
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experience
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. Those
staffs
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staff
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are not given priority to undertake important jobs, and even lose respect in the working environment. In conclusion, in my view, each person needs to receive their own equality in social life. To achieve
this
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purpose,
goverments
Correct your spelling
governments
government
should provide financial support for all
students
Use synonyms
to develop the country's economy
in particular
Linking Words
and citizens's lives in general.
Submitted by midden-02.tore on

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Grammar and Vocabulary
Try to avoid grammatical errors and incorrect word forms, such as 'a extremely' which should be 'an extremely' and 'economic develoment' which should be 'economic development.' These mistakes can affect readability.
Grammar and Vocabulary
Ensure that you use clear and precise language in your explanations. For instance, 'uncomplete university' should be 'not completing university.' Enhancing vocabulary usage would make your essay more compelling.
Task Achievement
In the first body paragraph, provide more specific examples to bolster your argument. Mentioning universities from certain countries without details is less powerful. For instance, you could specify a scholarship program like the 'Chevening Scholarship' from the UK as an example.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay could benefit from better transitions between paragraphs. Use linking words and phrases to improve the flow of ideas, such as 'Furthermore,' 'Moreover,' and 'In addition to this.'
Task Achievement
Include more specific facts or anecdotes to support your views. This would enhance the task achievement score. For example, give an instance of a student who benefited from a government scholarship.
Coherence and Cohesion
You have a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This organization is easy to follow and helps in presenting your ideas coherently.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reinforces your position, providing a strong end to the essay.
Task Achievement
You address the task prompt directly and provide a clear and strong opinion, which is a good approach to task achievement.
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