Computers ar often argued to be the most importent invention of the last hundred years. To what extent do you agree or diagree with this statment
In the era of globalization, a diverse range of innovations have been fabricated.
However
, a wide spectrum of individuals believe that the computer is considered the prime invention of the century.
I strongly agree with this
statement and I will elaborate on my point of view.
To begin
with, computing systems played a crucial role in maintaining our work over time. It assisted people, companies and government. Moreover
, It has the ability to preserve infinite of data and send it from one continent to another. For instance
in the past to secure substantial data, you need room to put some paper on it. However
, we can save this
data in a simple file.
Furthermore
, computers have been approximately integrated with all life sectors. We can see a wide variety of places are relying on it. They can do online meetings from it , do complex equations, Detect errors manipulate it and protect our lives. One of the skyrocketed benefits of the computer is the AI technology. It is a modern technology that can accomplish any task in a straightforward way.
In conclusion, I am convince
that there is not any invention more vital than the computer. Change the verb form
am convinced
It
usage overshadowed our thought. we still can utilize it in more missions Correct pronoun usage
Its
by
time.Change preposition
over
Submitted by mohannadsme on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Your introduction presents a clear stance, which is good. However, ensure the opening smoothly introduces the topic and outlines the main arguments you will present, to give the reader a roadmap of your essay.
task achievement
Try to elaborate more on your main points and provide more specific examples or evidence to support your arguments. This will enhance the clarity and comprehensiveness of your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Some sentences have minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. For instance, "It assisted people, companies and government" could be improved to "It has assisted individuals, companies, and governments." Careful proofreading can help improve clarity and professionalism.
coherence cohesion
Your ideas have a logical flow, but try to use more cohesive devices (like conjunctions and transition words) to make your text smoother. For example, instead of "However, we can save this data in a simple file," you can say "In contrast, we can now save this data in a simple file."
coherence cohesion
Work on developing your conclusion by summarizing the main points of your essay before restating your stance. This reinforces your argument and leaves a lasting impression on the reader.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your position on the topic, which is very important for task achievement.
coherence cohesion
Your paragraphs each address a distinct aspect of the topic, contributing to a well-organized structure.
task achievement
You appropriately identify and discuss several significant impacts of computers, supporting your position effectively.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.