Many people believe that it is easier to have healthy lifestyle in the countryside.Other beieve that there are health benefits to live in city.

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In
todays'
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today's
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soceities
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societies
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an
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unhealthy
routine
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routines
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is being
increasingly
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an increasingly
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common problem for
people
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all around the world .
Although
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many think
rural
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the rural
show examples
lifestyle is
a
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apply
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way healthier in comparison with in
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city
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the city
show examples
,
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while
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apply
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others are of the opinion that
best
Correct article usage
the best
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way to remain physically healthy is living in
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an
the
show examples
urban area. Both views will be discussed and it will be explored why
i
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I
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assume that living in
physical
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physically
show examples
good conditions is
well
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better
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organised in
countrisides
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countries
than
urban
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in urban
show examples
areas
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. There is a group of
people
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who suppose
rural
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the rural
show examples
lifestyle has numerous beneficial superiorities in order to keep fit .
Initially
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,
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regular exercises that are done in rustic lands are highly profitable for our health
such
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as farming and feeding animals like cows, sheep And horses.
For instance
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in
these kind
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this kind
these kinds
show examples
of
areas
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individuals use
the
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apply
show examples
horses or bikes as transportation
that
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which
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requires
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them
show examples
to be quite fit .
Furthermore
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in
countrisides
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countries
as
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with
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a lack of transport vehicles
people
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breathe
from
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apply
show examples
fresh air,
there
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and there
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are
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is
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limeted
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limited
transportation that produces CO2 emissions.
On the other hand
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, some think
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city
Correct article usage
the city
show examples
lifestyle is much healthier than it is considered.
Firstly
Linking Words
it is suggested that there are many infrastructural buildings and
neccesities
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necessities
that are used for enhancing health.
For instance
Linking Words
in
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city
Correct article usage
the city
show examples
people
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can be provided
acces
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access
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to
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all
facilities
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the facilities
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whatever we
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they
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want, like hospitals gyms and medical centers.
Linking Words
Moreover
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Moreover,
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they find sport as a personal growth,
therefore
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most
of
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apply
show examples
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people
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the people
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in urban
areas
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do
certain
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a certain
show examples
type of sport on a daily basis In conclusion, as
i
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I
show examples
mentioned above
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
keeping fit in rural
areas
Use synonyms
is
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
way easier compared to
city
Use synonyms
life .
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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task achievement
Your essay introduces the topic and presents both views, which is a good start. However, you need to clearly state your position more explicitly in the introduction and conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Work on your paragraph structure. Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and supporting sentences. For example, in the second paragraph, focus solely on the benefits of rural living without blending it with city living benefits.
task achievement
Your ideas are relevant and specific examples are given, but some points need to be more developed and clearer. For instance, explain more about how limited transportation in rural areas positively impacts health.
language
Pay attention to grammatical errors and spelling mistakes such as 'todays' societies,' 'soceities,' 'neccesities,' and 'limeted.' This will improve the readability and professionalism of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Use transition words and phrases more effectively to enhance the logical flow of your essay. For example, use 'Moreover,' 'Furthermore,' and 'For instance' appropriately.
task achievement
You did a good job of presenting both perspectives on the topic
task achievement
Your essay includes some specific examples, which adds depth to your arguments.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear effort to provide a conclusion that summarizes your points.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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