Scientists believe that computers will become more intelligent than human beings. Some people find it a positive development while others think it a negative development. Discuss both points and give your opinion.
Technology and human innovation have become so advanced in the past decade, that sometimes it feels that computers will completely take over the world
due to
their brilliance and precision. In this
essay, I will outline the advantages and potential disadvantages.
In contemporary times, humans have become extremely
dependent on computers for daily interactions and transactions that one cannot even think of a life without it. Just like any gadget, the software and hardware of the machine have been updated almost every year, to the extent that a supercomputer has Rephrase
so
also
been built which carries out multiple tasks at one time. For example
, with the advent of Artificial Intelligence, computers can now process large amounts of data from multiple sources at once. This
helps in predicting future catastrophes to upcoming population predictions better than any human mind can do.
Despite all the good initiatives which can be taken with this
tool, there is always a way to hack into the file, no matter how secure the system is. The biggest risk with such
a machine is that all the personal information of the masses is integrated into the cloud. The apocalypse is a click away if the data falls into the wrong hands. For example
, the credit card scams which often take place are a result of such
data hacking only.
In conclusion, there is no doubt that the computer is getting better with time in performing tasks which saves time but one has to be careful of the downside of it and be vigilant when doing any sensitive work or else be prepared to lose all of his or her life's work.Submitted by hudibaiqbal on
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task response
You outlined both advantages and disadvantages effectively, but try to balance the discussion equally. The conclusion slightly focuses more on the negative aspect.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. You could improve cohesion by adding more linking words and phrases.
task response
While your examples are relevant, adding more varied and specific examples could strengthen your argument further.
coherence cohesion
You provided a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your ideas are well-articulated and easy to understand, making your essay engaging.
relevant specific examples
You successfully included relevant topics like Artificial Intelligence and data hacking to support your argument.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite