More and more people want to own famous brands of cars, clothes and other items. What are the reason for this. Is this a positive or negative trend?

#people #brands #cars #clothes #items #reason #trend

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Nowadays, an array of trends is proliferated around the world. A wide diversity of individuals are trying to purchase renowned brands,

such

as vehicles, clothes and other products. In

this

essay, I will demonstrate the causes of

this

argument. In my honest view, I believe that it has a negative impact on society.

To begin

with, the spread of fashion lines and online trends, made a lot of people addicted to obtaining these things. They trying to invest a lot of money to follow the trends.

Moreover

, advertisements play a vital role in

this

issue. It attracted adults and old people to buy products from them. The agencies and online shops

also

have a significant impact on them by making offers, and online marketing them between videos and movies.

For instance

, Youtube is a platform, where anyone can watch videos. We can see between every video a new advertisement for a new item. I am convinced that

this

will have an inferior effect in the long term. Not everyone will have the ability to put new burdens on himself.

Furthermore

, It will raise the instalments between persons and

this

will make the economy of the country be related more in instalments.

thus

if anyone does not have the ability to afford

this

money the country will pay

instead

of him, and

as a result

, he will charge a penalty. In conclusion, We can follow a trend which has a beneficial effect on us.

Likewise

, invest more money in education or in our health. The government should raise the taxes on these products to tackle

this

issue over time.

Submitted by mohannadsme on Thu Jul 04 2024

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task achievement

Try to provide more specific examples to support your points. This will make your argument stronger and more convincing.

task achievement

Work on making your arguments clearer and more comprehensive. Adding nuances and different perspectives can enrich your essay.

coherence cohesion

Make sure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Use linking words and phrases to help maintain flow.

coherence cohesion

Focus on structuring your essay in a more organized manner. Ensure each paragraph has a distinct main idea and that they all tie back to your thesis.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction sets the context well and clearly outlines your viewpoint.

coherence cohesion

Your conclusion effectively summarizes your arguments and provides a final perspective on the issue.

task achievement

You address the prompt well by discussing both the reasons behind the trend and its effects.

task achievement

You've made a notable effort to explain why you believe the trend has negative consequences. This contributes well to the task response.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

268 words

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More and more people want to own famous brands of cars, clothes and other items. What are the reason for this. Is this a positive or negative trend?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think the main purpose of school is to turn children into good citizens and workers, rather than to benefit them as individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, more and more older people who are looking for work have to compete with younger people for the same job. What problemes does this came? What are some possibles solutions?

The international community must act immediately to ensure all nations to reduce their consumption of fossil fuels e.g. gas and oil.To what extent do you agree/ disagree?

Despite a large number of gyms , a sedentary lifestyle is gaining popularity in the contemporary world. What problems are associated with this ? What solutions can you suggest?