More and more people want to own famous brands of cars, clothes and other items. What are the reason for this. Is this a positive or negative trend?

Nowadays, an array of trends is proliferated around the world. A wide diversity of individuals are trying to purchase renowned brands,
such
as vehicles, clothes and other products. In
this
essay, I will demonstrate the causes of
this
argument. In my honest view, I believe that it has a negative impact on society.
To begin
with, the spread of fashion lines and online trends, made a lot of people addicted to obtaining these things. They trying to invest a lot of money to follow the trends.
Moreover
, advertisements play a vital role in
this
issue. It attracted adults and old people to buy products from them. The agencies and online shops
also
have a significant impact on them by making offers, and online marketing them between videos and movies.
For instance
, Youtube is a platform, where anyone can watch videos. We can see between every video a new advertisement for a new item. I am convinced that
this
will have an inferior effect in the long term. Not everyone will have the ability to put new burdens on himself.
Furthermore
, It will raise the instalments between persons and
this
will make the economy of the country be related more in instalments.
thus
if anyone does not have the ability to afford
this
money the country will pay
instead
of him, and
as a result
, he will charge a penalty. In conclusion, We can follow a trend which has a beneficial effect on us.
Likewise
, invest more money in education or in our health. The government should raise the taxes on these products to tackle
this
issue over time.
Submitted by mohannadsme on

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task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to support your points. This will make your argument stronger and more convincing.
task achievement
Work on making your arguments clearer and more comprehensive. Adding nuances and different perspectives can enrich your essay.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Use linking words and phrases to help maintain flow.
coherence cohesion
Focus on structuring your essay in a more organized manner. Ensure each paragraph has a distinct main idea and that they all tie back to your thesis.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction sets the context well and clearly outlines your viewpoint.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your arguments and provides a final perspective on the issue.
task achievement
You address the prompt well by discussing both the reasons behind the trend and its effects.
task achievement
You've made a notable effort to explain why you believe the trend has negative consequences. This contributes well to the task response.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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