Although many people value public parks, this space could be better used for the other purposes such as residential areas for the ever growing population or to develop business and build economics. To what extend do you agree or dis agree with this statement.

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Some
people
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overlook the advantages of conservation public parks and believe that it is more beneficial to leverage them in other targets
such
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as urban and industrial developments, improving the economic levels of the community.
However
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, I totally disagree with
this
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argument as the benefits of saving public parks outweigh the disadvantages. In the following, I will elaborate more on the great sequences of protecting green
areas
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within the region. One of the most crucial benefits of green
areas
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is protecting
biodiversity
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and
hence
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guaranteeing healthier environments. In fact, green gardens are natural habitats for many creatures.
As a result
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, removing these original habitats will threaten some animals and plants to be at risk of extinction.
However
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, it is essential to protect the
biodiversity
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of creations for many purposes.
For example
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, the food chain would be affected by
biodiversity
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.
Additionally
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, plants and animals play a pivotal role in many ecosystem services
such
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as pollination, producing oxygen, regulation of the water cycles, and mitigation of the problems of global warming.
According to
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all of these tremendous sequences, it is undoubtedly we should protect and save green
areas
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to mitigate many environmental issues.
Furthermore
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, public gardens are represented as recreational places that allow
people
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to connect with
nature
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.
However
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, connecting with
nature
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is a convenient way to release stress. It is unrealistic to remove all natural spaces for residential
areas
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and industrial activities, preventing
people
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from accessing
nature
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.
This
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practice would pose detrimental consequences on the
people
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and degrade the level of quality life of many individuals. I believe It is better to implement urban planning strategies that protect natural places and at the same time create energy-efficient buildings, rather than removing public gardens.
To conclude
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, natural places have many substantial roles on our planet.
For example
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,
biodiversity
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conservation and ecosystem services
such
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as pollination and generating oxygen.
Furthermore
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it is a source of entertainment and a way to connect with
nature
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. Despite all of the tremendous benefits , I totally disagree with the notion of replacing green regions with residential and industrial
areas
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.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure the essay follows a clear logical structure, with ideas presented in a manner that leads the reader naturally from one point to another. While you have done well in this aspect, there's room to enhance transitions and the flow of information for even greater clarity.
coherence cohesion
You have provided both an introduction and conclusion, which is good. However, ensure that these are concise, serve to outline/summarize the essay's points effectively, and that the conclusion restates the thesis and main points without introducing new information.
coherence cohesion
While main points did support your thesis, consider developing your arguments further with more detailed examples and explanations. Data, studies, or hypothetical scenarios could strengthen your argument effectively.
task achievement
You have completed the task by addressing the prompt fully and presenting a clear position throughout the essay. To improve, make sure that the equilibrium between developing ideas and the given word limit is maintained, and all parts of the task are covered in appropriate detail.
task achievement
Your ideas were clear and generally comprehensive, but aim to deepen your analysis with more nuanced points that reflect a broader consideration of the topic. This would show a greater depth of thought and understanding.
task achievement
Relevant examples were used, but they lack specificity. Providing specific cases, statistics, or references can help illustrate your points more convincingly and demonstrate a stronger mastery of the subject matter.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • public parks
  • residential areas
  • economic development
  • growing population
  • balance
  • appropriate locations
  • community engagement
  • environmental sustainability
  • efficient urban planning
  • coexistence
What to do next:
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