Although many people value public parks, this space could be better used for the other purposes such as residential areas for the ever growing population or to develop business and build economics. To what extend do you agree or dis agree with this statement.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Some

people

Use synonyms

overlook the advantages of conservation public parks and believe that it is more beneficial to leverage them in other targets

such

Linking Words

as urban and industrial developments, improving the economic levels of the community.

However

Linking Words

, I totally disagree with

this

Linking Words

argument as the benefits of saving public parks outweigh the disadvantages. In the following, I will elaborate more on the great sequences of protecting green

areas

Use synonyms

within the region. One of the most crucial benefits of green

areas

Use synonyms

is protecting

biodiversity

Use synonyms

and

hence

Linking Words

guaranteeing healthier environments. In fact, green gardens are natural habitats for many creatures.

As a result

Linking Words

, removing these original habitats will threaten some animals and plants to be at risk of extinction.

However

Linking Words

, it is essential to protect the

biodiversity

Use synonyms

of creations for many purposes.

For example

Linking Words

, the food chain would be affected by

biodiversity

Use synonyms

Additionally

Linking Words

, plants and animals play a pivotal role in many ecosystem services

such

Linking Words

as pollination, producing oxygen, regulation of the water cycles, and mitigation of the problems of global warming.

According to

Linking Words

all of these tremendous sequences, it is undoubtedly we should protect and save green

areas

Use synonyms

to mitigate many environmental issues.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, public gardens are represented as recreational places that allow

people

Use synonyms

to connect with

nature

Use synonyms

However

Linking Words

, connecting with

nature

Use synonyms

is a convenient way to release stress. It is unrealistic to remove all natural spaces for residential

areas

Use synonyms

and industrial activities, preventing

people

Use synonyms

from accessing

nature

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

practice would pose detrimental consequences on the

people

Use synonyms

and degrade the level of quality life of many individuals. I believe It is better to implement urban planning strategies that protect natural places and at the same time create energy-efficient buildings, rather than removing public gardens.

To conclude

Linking Words

, natural places have many substantial roles on our planet.

For example

Linking Words

biodiversity

Use synonyms

conservation and ecosystem services

such

Linking Words

as pollination and generating oxygen.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, it is a source of entertainment and a way to connect with

nature

Use synonyms

. Despite all of the tremendous benefits , I totally disagree with the notion of replacing green regions with residential and industrial

areas

Use synonyms

fmalquran112Mon Nov 20 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Ensure the essay follows a clear logical structure, with ideas presented in a manner that leads the reader naturally from one point to another. While you have done well in this aspect, there's room to enhance transitions and the flow of information for even greater clarity.

coherence cohesion

You have provided both an introduction and conclusion, which is good. However, ensure that these are concise, serve to outline/summarize the essay's points effectively, and that the conclusion restates the thesis and main points without introducing new information.

coherence cohesion

While main points did support your thesis, consider developing your arguments further with more detailed examples and explanations. Data, studies, or hypothetical scenarios could strengthen your argument effectively.

task achievement

You have completed the task by addressing the prompt fully and presenting a clear position throughout the essay. To improve, make sure that the equilibrium between developing ideas and the given word limit is maintained, and all parts of the task are covered in appropriate detail.

task achievement

Your ideas were clear and generally comprehensive, but aim to deepen your analysis with more nuanced points that reflect a broader consideration of the topic. This would show a greater depth of thought and understanding.

task achievement

Relevant examples were used, but they lack specificity. Providing specific cases, statistics, or references can help illustrate your points more convincingly and demonstrate a stronger mastery of the subject matter.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

342 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

public parks
residential areas
economic development
growing population
balance
appropriate locations
community engagement
environmental sustainability
efficient urban planning
coexistence

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

8.5
band
You left a jacket behind at a restaurant you went to recently. Write a letter to the restaurant manager. In your letter 1) Describe the jacket 2) explain when you visited the restaurant and where you were sitting 3) Say what you want the manager to do.
I am writing to inform you about an item I left behind at your restaurant in Koramangala on the 23rd of November.
6
band
In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way Why is this? do you think it is a positive or a negative development?
Today business owners focus on marketing their products as new or special in some way. That is because they want to convince the consumer that their products are one of a kind. Personally, I believe that this method of advertising is a negative point because they are deceiving the customers.
6
band
Some people believe that it is more important to teach children the literature of their own country than other countries. Do you agree or disagree?
It is argued that teaching children the literature of their own country should be given more importance than that of other countries. While I accept that children will gain a range of benefits when studying literature works of their own culture, I also believe that learning foreign literature is equally important.
6.5
band
Write a letter to a property agent. In your letter: * Introduce yourself and your family * Describe the type of accommodation that you hope to find * Give your preference for the location of the accommodation
I am Mustafa, and I am writing to enquire about this letter as I am looking to rent an apartment in Toronto, Canada. While I live in Iran now, and I will migrate to Canada with my family within the next six months. Hence, my family consists of my wife and son.
6
band
The tradition that family gets together to eat meals is disappearing. What are the reasons? What are the impacts?
A lack of familism has been highlighted over the past decades. From this aspect, questions that the tradition that family gets together to eat meals is disappearing arise. This essay will explain what the reasons and impacts are.

Although many people value public parks, this space could be better used for the other purposes such as residential areas for the ever growing population or to develop business and build economics. To what extend do you agree or dis agree with this statement.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

You left a jacket behind at a restaurant you went to recently. Write a letter to the restaurant manager. In your letter 1) Describe the jacket 2) explain when you visited the restaurant and where you were sitting 3) Say what you want the manager to do.

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way Why is this? do you think it is a positive or a negative development?

Some people believe that it is more important to teach children the literature of their own country than other countries. Do you agree or disagree?

Write a letter to a property agent. In your letter: * Introduce yourself and your family * Describe the type of accommodation that you hope to find * Give your preference for the location of the accommodation

The tradition that family gets together to eat meals is disappearing. What are the reasons? What are the impacts?