IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people feel that legal age at which people can marry should be at least 21. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

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Recently, the legal
marriage
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age
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 has become a debatable issue around the world. In fact, I agree with those who feel that
marriage
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 should be carried out at least 21
years
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 old for a few reasons. On the one hand, individuals who get married under 21
years
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 old do not understand their whole
life
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 clearly. Humans are learning not only from their lives but
also
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 from their surroundings which makes them more experienced in facing the reality of
life
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.
Moreover
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, they are not mature enough so it can implicate their way to make a big decision. Based on the world survey shows the data that most new couples under 21
marriage
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 are suffering from marital issues.
Therefore
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, the government should implement a law about legal
age
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marriage
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.
On the other hand
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, folks who get married at an early
age
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 do not have any particular job because they are still in college and it causes them not to get any money. So, how they could face their
life
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 if there is no adequate financial support
.
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?
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In addition
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,
this
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 condition might worsen their
life
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.
For instance
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, they could break and get into debt in order to
fulfill
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fulfil
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 their basic needs.
Thus
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, the authority should enforce the strict rule to regulate
this
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 issue. In conclusion,
marriage
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 under 21
years
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 old creates a few negative sides
such
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 as the inability to make big decisions, having insufficient money and becoming broke.
Therefore
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, I remain firmly convinced that all mankind could marry at their
age
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 at least 21
years
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 old.

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relevant specific examples
Focus on providing more specific examples and data to support your arguments. For instance, citing specific studies or giving detailed real-life examples will strengthen your essay.
logical structure
Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and flows logically to the next. Transition words and phrases will help to improve the overall coherence.
clear comprehensive ideas
Try to elaborate on each point made, offering more nuanced discussion or contrasting viewpoints to make the essay more comprehensive and thought-provoking.
introduction conclusion present
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that effectively frame the topic. It states the position and summarizes the argument well.
supported main points
The main points are supported with reasoning and some examples, which show a good understanding of the topic. The arguments are generally clear and relevant.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Legal age
  • Marriage
  • Maturity
  • Stability
  • Individual choice
  • Freedom
  • Cultural practices
  • Religious practices
  • Education
  • Career aspirations
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