IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In recent years, more and more people tend to live individually. What are the causes of this trend? Does this have a positive or negative effect on society?

#years #people #trend #effect #society
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there are many
reasons
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maked
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made
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people
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 to
preferre
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prefer
preferred
 to live individually
recent
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in recent
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 years. There are personal
reasons
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 and medical
reasons
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 and
time
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reasons
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, the personal
problem
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 is
like
Correct word choice
that
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people
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 just like to not get into with the community and just to live with few family members and there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 a lot of these
people
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,and we have
also
Linking Words
 the medical
problem
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 and the medical
problem
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 is not that common but it is still
excitet
Correct your spelling
excited
excitement
 and that
problem
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 makes
the
Correct your spelling
them
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 that have it to have a difficulty's with connecting with the
people
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 and hanging out, the
time
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reasons
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 I would say it is the most common in recent years because in the
last
Linking Words
 few
years
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years,
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people
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dont
Correct your spelling
don't
 have much
time
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 because of work and
that is
Linking Words
 why you almost have no
time
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 for even your family. And that
have
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has
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 a negative effect
for
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on
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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society that
people
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 don't connect with each other and it is not good and healthy for
people
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 mode I would say
that is
Linking Words
 a huge
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reasons
Fix the agreement mistake
reason
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 and effect on
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people
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people's
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 mood during the day because you don't have
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people
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people's
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 to chat and live with so
that is
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 will make
people
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 do not give there best on work or even life in general because we are not we are human and humans can not live alone it is a bad thing for your mental health in the
long range
Add a hyphen
long-range
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 because
people
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 have to have fun and free
time
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 to be fully charged and ready and in a good mode and health and
that is
Linking Words
 why it has a very very negative and bad effect on the
people
Use synonyms
Submitted by alanazim424 on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay is missing a clear introduction. Start by paraphrasing the prompt and presenting a thesis statement that outlines the main points you will discuss.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear, singular focus. The paragraphs should start with a topic sentence and then elaborate with supporting details, examples, and explanations.
coherence cohesion
End your essay with a conclusion that summarizes the main points discussed and restates your overall opinion on the topic.
task achievement
Work on developing fully fleshed-out examples to support your points. Specific examples help make your arguments more persuasive and concrete.
task achievement
Strive to incorporate more varied vocabulary and a wider range of sentence structures. This can help make your writing more engaging and less repetitive.
task achievement
You've identified multiple reasons why people might choose to live individually, such as personal, medical, and time reasons.
task achievement
You've addressed how living individually could have a negative impact on society, mentioning issues like social isolation and its effects on mental health.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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