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Writing Samples
Band 5

In the past, lectures were the traditional method of teaching large number of students in a classroom. Nowadays-new technology is increasingly being used to teach students. Advantages, Disadvantages?

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In recent years, there has been a growing debate between old and new teaching methods.
This
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 has gained significant attention
due to
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 its impact on
students
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' education, making it a subject of considerable interest and
attentions
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attention
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.
During
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In
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 old times, there were large amounts of kids taught in the same class rather
than
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unlike
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 nowadays, where
students
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 either get taught in small groups or from the comfort of their own
home
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homes
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.
Technology
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 has
also
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 been increasingly utilized when teaching
students
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. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss the pros and cons of the technological advancements happening in the educational system, including all the benefits,
such
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 as access to education at any time and around all parts of the world, and the consequences of
this
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, like lack of interaction, leading to mental and physical health issues. On one hand, the escalating need for
technology
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 in every aspect of our
life
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lives
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 can be concerning, especially for those who are addicted to their devices.
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Although
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However
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 there are some consequences that can be combated which I will discuss
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furthermore
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further
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 in
this
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 essay. It offers
overall
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efficency
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efficiency
 and productivity, regardless of many factors that used to affect
students
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 in many generations.
Additonally
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Additionally
, the enhanced
use
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 of
technology
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 to attend meetings from home, complete tasks, and
use
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 advanced programs to check your progress will aid in a far more educated and knowledgeable society.
On the other hand
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, many people
use
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 these new advancements as an excuse to stop studying and working for their goals.
For example
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,
this
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 has been seen during the COVID-19 pandemic, where
students
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 would cheat during exams and not listen to their teachers online.
Additionally
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, many hospitals reported
many
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apply
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increased cases of mental health problems, including depression, anxiety disorders, and ADHD, leading to a lack of interaction in the environment and low grades;
thus
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reduced
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reducing
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 career prospects and limited opportunities in the future. In conclusion, the issues linked to using
technology
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 in our modern age
requires
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require
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 hard work and severe persistence. By informing parents and raising awareness about the correct
use
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 of devices when studying and attending lectures. It is crucial that
students
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 in schools, colleges, and higher education prioritize their studies and focus during important sessions.
This
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 approach will significantly reduce the number of failures.
Therefore
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, leading to a more harmonious and educated society.

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task achievement
Expand on your points with relevant and specific examples to make your argument stronger.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear focus and that your ideas flow logically from one to the next.
coherence cohesion
Try to avoid redundancy and repetition in your writing. Aim for clear and concise language.
task achievement
Make sure to maintain and develop your key ideas in a balanced way throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which provides a good structure.
task achievement
You introduced a relevant topic and addressed both the advantages and disadvantages, which is essential for balanced writing.
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