In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of ageing populations.

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Introduction

In present days, life expectancy among individuals in developed cities has been rapidly increased.

As a result

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, it demonstrates a new issue in these countries

such

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as finance issues and health care issues. In

this

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essay, I will illustrate the hazards and how can we solve these problems.

Body paragraph 1

To begin

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with, the governments around the world are suffering from the inflation. They trying to reduce the payments to tackle

this

Linking Words

issue.

However

Linking Words

, they faced challenges , especially from older

people

Use synonyms

. They are earning money after their retirement

thus

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

but more burden on society.

Moreover

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, the government raised the taxes on their citizens which put them under pressure and over time they will not be able to endure

this

Linking Words

Therefore

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, a diverse range of countries determined that they will delay the retirement age.

For instance

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, In Canada, individuals retire at age 65. They believe that their

people

Use synonyms

have the ability to work till that age.

Body paragraph 2

On the other hand

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, It can affect the healthcare system. The elderly public means an increase in the utilisation of hospitals and medicine.

Furthermore

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, when we get old, our immunity will be alleviated.

In other words

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, the number of diseases will be surpassed. In my opinion, yearly checkups can be a solution and diminish

this

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matter.

For example

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, Norway's health care ministry

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

fosters their

people

Use synonyms

to make a free check by making it free.

Conclusion

In conclusion, governments should play a more vibrant role in addressing

this

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issue. They

also

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should be aware that older

people

Use synonyms

have the right to live a suitable life.

mohannadsme

Jul 5, 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that sentences are clearly linked to one another to improve logical structure. For example, use transition words like 'Additionally,' 'Moreover,' and 'Consequently.'

task achievement

Introduce a more comprehensive range of specific examples to back up the points you make. This will help in making your essay more convincing.

coherence cohesion

Check for grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. For instance, 'In present days' can be rephrased as 'Nowadays.'

task achievement

Improve the clarity of your ideas by focusing on one main point per paragraph. This will make your various arguments easier to follow.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are clear, setting up and summarizing the essay's main points effectively.

task achievement

The essay provides some well-founded ideas and possible solutions to the problems related to an aging population.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – Problems
Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

One of the first problems of the...
Another problem that needs to be considered...
A possible solution to this problem would be...
One immediate practical solution is to...

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14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

258 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

average life expectancy
developed world
increase
individuals
society
personal goals
ambitions
quality of life
leisure
recreation
healthcare costs
challenges
healthcare system
ageing population
shortage
available workers
economy
retirement planning
healthy lifestyles
investing
social support systems

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In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of ageing populations.

Your rental accommodation was recently damaged due to bad weather. Write a letter to the landlord and say • Explain what caused the damage • Why do you need them to fix the problem right away • What needs to be done to fix it

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Some people believe that young people should choose the jobs that they want, but other people think they should be more realistic and think more about their future. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.