Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Progress
economically is perceived by
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
quite a number of governments as the most vital goal. In my opinion, I totally support
this
statement.
However
, other people are of the view that other kinds of
progress
are
also
paramount for a
nation
.
This
essay will discuss both views. On the one hand, when a
nation
is sound economically, it can take care of all things. As it is said, "
money
Capitalize word
Money
show examples
answers all things."
Further
, if the educational sector of a country needs to build schools in a particular area, they can quickly run to the government for financial assistance.
For example
, in China, five schools were built in the village with the help of the government organising the finances.
On the other hand
, it is necessary for a kingdom to have
progress
in other sectors as well so that the economy of that
nation
is not drained financially. Each segment in a country should be able to stand on its own and take care of its sector.
For example
, the educational sector
is suppose
Change the verb form
is supposed
show examples
to take care
all
Change preposition
of all
show examples
the needs of that segment. If computers are needed,
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
should be able to cover any need.
Thus
, it should be noted that other types of
progress
are equally vital for a country. In conclusion, as much as other individuals think that other types of growth are equally vital in a kingdom, many governments believe that
progress
economically is the most vital goal. I personally agree
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
this
because if the
nation
is economically sound, it will cover all sectors.
Submitted by pncubeterera on

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task achievement
Expand on examples provided to make the argument stronger. For example, explain how China's economic progress directly benefited the education sector.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea and flows logically into the next one to improve cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Work on sentence variety and complex sentence structures to improve readability.
task achievement
You have effectively presented both views and provided a balanced discussion.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, which helps in understanding the flow of your arguments.
task achievement
You have a good understanding of the topic and have made relevant points.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • standard of living
  • sustainable development
  • social equality
  • environmental degradation
  • cultural heritage
  • technological innovation
  • wealth disparity
  • human development index
  • holistic approach
  • quality of life
  • economic prosperity
  • healthcare system
  • education system
  • cultural diversity
  • policy decisions
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