IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Recently, many people know a few of their neighbors. What is the cause of the ‎problem? What can be done to solve the problem? Give reasons for your ‎answer and an example from your own experience.‎

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Start now →
Introduction
In the past
poeple
Correct your spelling
people
 had been
Change preposition
in cotact
show examples
cotact
Correct your spelling
contact
 with their
neighbors
Use synonyms
 as much as face to face
than
Change preposition
apply
show examples
currently day,
people
Use synonyms
 lose
thies
Correct your spelling
this
conaction
Correct your spelling
contact
. There are many reasons
lead
Correct pronoun usage
that lead
show examples
 to that problem and solutions.
Body · 1
the first cause,
social
Change preposition
of social
show examples
 media is
altrnative
Correct your spelling
alternative
 communication.
People
Use synonyms
 are getting
busy
Correct quantifier usage
more busy
show examples
 on it than
visit
Wrong verb form
visiting
show examples
 their
neighbors
Use synonyms
.
At
Change preposition
On
show examples
You Tube
Correct your spelling
YouTube
show examples
,
for example
Linking Words
, there are more families
channal
Correct your spelling
channels
 which
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
recorded
Wrong verb form
record
show examples
 their daily,
challange
Correct your spelling
challenges
 or new
trend
Fix the agreement mistake
trends
show examples
 in media.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
persons
Replace the word
people
show examples
 are
busy
Correct quantifier usage
more busy
show examples
to take
Change the verb form
taking
show examples
 photos or
records
Wrong verb form
recording
show examples
 their daily than
communicate
Wrong verb form
communicating
show examples
 with their
Use synonyms
neighbors
Change the spelling
neighbours
show examples
.
Second
Add an article
The second
show examples
 reason is
people
Use synonyms
 spend most of their
time
Use synonyms
 at
job
Add an article
a job
show examples
 where they
might
Verb problem
spend
show examples
 12 hours of their day
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
working as
ruslt
Correct your spelling
well
 as
to have
Change the verb form
having
show examples
 less
time
Use synonyms
 to be at home and care about
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 relationships with
others
Use synonyms
.
Body · 2
At
Change preposition
As
show examples
possible
Correct article usage
a possible
show examples
 solution invite our
Use synonyms
neighbors
Change the spelling
neighbours
show examples
 for
evening
Add an article
the evening
an evening
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as dinner or
party
Correct article usage
a party
show examples
 like
birthday
Correct article usage
a birthday
show examples
 or graduation
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will help to keep our relations good and knowing about them.
For example
Linking Words
,
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 Eid
Use synonyms
people
Add a comma
people,
show examples
most
Correct your spelling
must
show examples
 visit their families and
congadulate
Correct your spelling
congratulate
congratulated
Correct pronoun usage
them for
show examples
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 Eid.
Concequantly
Correct your spelling
Consequently
, they
maintan
Correct your spelling
maintain
 rapport with
others
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 should arrange their
time
Use synonyms
for visited
Change preposition
to visit
show examples
our
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 families, friends or
neighbors
Use synonyms
 in one day every week or two
week
Change to a plural noun
weeks
show examples
 and
assisst
Correct your spelling
assist
 our children to have
knowladge
Correct your spelling
knowledge
 about the
significant
Replace the word
significance
show examples
to be
Change preposition
of being
show examples
 sociality and friendly in their
socity
Correct your spelling
society
.
Conclusion
In
concludsion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
, relationships are
most
Rephrase
more
show examples
 important than occupation and social media to
preseve
Correct your spelling
preserve
 our sociality
relation
Fix the agreement mistake
relations
show examples
 with
others
Use synonyms
. Occasions and
arrange
Wrong verb form
arranged
show examples
Use synonyms
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
 will help to contain
contacted
Change the form of the verb
contact
show examples
 with
others
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your essay addresses the question appropriately by discussing both the causes and solutions to the problem of people not knowing their neighbors. However, ensure that your main points are clearly stated in the introduction and expanded upon in the body paragraphs with relevant details and specific examples.
coherence cohesion
Avoid grammatical errors and spelling mistakes. Take the time to check your writing for common issues like subject-verb agreement and the proper use of tenses. For example, 'cotact' should be 'contact,' and 'conaction' should be 'connection.'
coherence cohesion
Your ideas should flow logically from one to another. Use transitional phrases to create a smooth reading experience. For example, better transitions can be used between discussing social media and work commitments.
task achievement
You clearly understand the importance of neighborhood relationships and have made a genuine effort to provide solutions. Highlighting social media and job commitments as key causes shows insight into modern life.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. This helps organize your thoughts effectively.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: