IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Developments in technology have brought various environmental problems. Some people believe that people need to live simpler lives to solve environmental problems. Other, however, technology is the way to solve these problems. Discuss both views

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There are different points of view about environmental issues among societies around the globe. Few individuals argue that people must
involve
Wrong verb form
be involved
show examples
 in resolving
enviroment peoblems
Correct your spelling
environmental problems
 by
makin
Correct your spelling
making
makin'
 their lives
simplier
Correct your spelling
simpler
,
while
Linking Words
, other groups support that technology is the best source to overcome these troubles.
However
Linking Words
, both opinion has their pros and cons,
therefore
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, before commenting on my decision both views would be discussed. The primary argument the supporters would put forward is that the population should take part
to deal
Change preposition
in dealing
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 with climate problems.
This
Linking Words
 is because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the litter thrown by people in open places become one of the main reasons for environmental pollution,
hence
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, they should properly manage their domestic waste to save the atmosphere around them.
In addition
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, they
also
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 believe that it is the responsibility of the community to preserve their ecosystem by participating in social activities to reduce the problem.
For example
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, for many volunteer works the main purpose is to
safe
Replace the word
save
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ecosystem
Correct article usage
the ecosystem
show examples
On the contrary
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, the latter view suggests that the advancement in automation can play a vital role
to minimise
Change preposition
in minimising
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 environmental issues, because, nowadays, the government have huge advanced technological equipment which can recycle garbage and make them it reuse. To illustrate, in India transportation ministry established wastewater recycling plants in major cities of the nation which convert it into drinking water.
Moreover
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, to reduce air pollution
instead
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 of selling fossil fuel vehicles companies
has been
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 launched electrical motors which is a giant invention of automation.
To conclude
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, I would say that it is necessary of life the masses should take part
to control
Change preposition
in controlling
show examples
 environmental issues,
although
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, technology is the most appropriate way to deal with
this
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 situation.In
Correct your spelling
perspective
percpective
Add a comma
percpective,
show examples
this
Linking Words
 would resolve all problems without investing an enormous time.

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language clarity
Work on the clarity of your language. Ensure your ideas are expressed clearly and concisely to avoid confusion.
argument development
Develop your arguments further with more detailed examples and explanations to enhance the persuasiveness of your essay.
vocabulary sentence diversity
Use a range of advanced vocabulary and more diverse sentence structures to show a greater command of the language.
balanced discussion
You have addressed both views in a balanced manner, which shows a good understanding of the prompt and a fair approach to the discussion.
logical structure
The structure of your essay is logical, with clear paragraphs that each cover a distinct point, making it easier for the reader to follow your argument.
use of examples
You have made an effort to provide examples to support your points, which is a key element in making your argument convincing.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Environmental impact
  • Sustainable living
  • Renewable energy
  • Waste management
  • Pollution control
  • Electric vehicles
  • Smart grid systems
  • Desalination plants
  • Foster environmental behaviors
  • Long-term solutions
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