IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Everyone should adopt a vegetarian diet because eating meat can cause serious health problems.Do you agree or disagree?

The debate over whether everyone should adopt a vegetarian
diet
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 to avoid
health
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 issues associated with
meat
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 consumption is a prominent one. Proponents argue that a vegetarian
diet
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 can prevent serious
health
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 problems and offer various advantages,
while
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 opponents highlight that
meat
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 can be part of a balanced
diet
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 when consumed wisely.
This
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 essay will discuss both perspectives and provide a reasoned viewpoint. One of the primary reasons to adopt a vegetarian
diet
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 is the potential
health
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benefits
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 it offers. Research indicates that vegetarian diets are often associated with a lower risk of chronic diseases
such
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 as heart disease, hypertension, type 2 diabetes, and certain cancers. A
diet
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 rich in fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and legumes provides essential nutrients, antioxidants, and
fiber
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fibre
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, which can contribute to
overall
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health
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 and disease prevention.
For instance
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, higher
fiber
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fibre
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intake
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 from plant-based
foods
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 can improve digestive
health
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, reduce cholesterol levels, and help in maintaining a healthy weight.
Moreover
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, vegetarian diets typically have lower levels of saturated fat and cholesterol compared to
meat
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-based diets. Lowering saturated fat and cholesterol
intake
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 is beneficial for cardiovascular
health
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, reducing the risk of heart disease and stroke.
This
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 dietary pattern aligns with recommendations from
health
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 organizations, which advocate for reduced
intake
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 of animal fats.
In addition
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 to
health
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benefits
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, adopting a vegetarian
diet
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 can have positive environmental and ethical implications.
Meat
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 production is resource-intensive and contributes to deforestation, greenhouse gas emissions, and water pollution. By reducing
meat
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 consumption,
individuals
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 can help lower their environmental footprint.
Additionally
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, a vegetarian
diet
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 addresses ethical concerns related to animal welfare, avoiding the exploitation and suffering of animals in industrial farming practices. Despite the
benefits
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, there are valid reasons why a universal shift to a vegetarian
diet
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 may not be ideal.
Meat
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 is a significant source of essential nutrients
such
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 as protein, iron, zinc, and vitamin B12. For some
individuals
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, especially those with specific
health
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 conditions or dietary needs,
meat
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 may be an important component of a balanced
diet
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. Without careful planning, a vegetarian
diet
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 might lead to deficiencies in these nutrients, potentially affecting
overall
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health
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. Cultural and personal preferences
also
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 play a significant role in dietary choices. In many cultures,
meat
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 is a central element of traditional cuisine and family traditions. Mandating a vegetarian
diet
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 could undermine cultural practices and personal values related to food.
Moreover
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, dietary preferences are highly individual, and a one-size-fits-all approach may not accommodate everyone’s needs and tastes. Feasibility and accessibility are additional concerns. In some regions, plant-based
foods
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 may not be as readily available or affordable as
meat
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. Access to a variety of nutritious plant-based
foods
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 is essential for maintaining a healthy vegetarian
diet
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. For
individuals
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 living in areas with limited access to
such
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foods
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, adopting a vegetarian
diet
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 may be challenging.
Furthermore
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, a poorly planned vegetarian
diet
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 can lead to nutritional imbalances. Ensuring adequate
intake
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 of protein, iron, and vitamin B12 requires
careful
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a careful
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 selection of
foods
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 and, in some cases, the use of supplements.
Individuals
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 must be aware of these potential deficiencies and take steps to address them. In conclusion,
while
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 adopting a vegetarian
diet
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 offers significant
health
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benefits
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 and addresses environmental and ethical concerns, it may not be suitable for everyone. Nutritional needs, cultural significance, personal preferences, and practical challenges must be considered. Rather than enforcing a universal vegetarian
diet
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, promoting a balanced approach that includes education on healthy eating, responsible
meat
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 consumption, and sustainable dietary choices may be more practical. Encouraging
individuals
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 to make informed decisions based on their
health
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 needs, values, and circumstances can lead to more sustainable and personalized dietary practices.

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task achievement
The essay demonstrates a thorough understanding of the topic and makes a well-balanced argument with multiple viewpoints. However, adding more specific evidence or examples, such as statistical data or expert opinions, could further enrich the discussion.
coherence cohesion
Minor adjustments in paragraph transitions and cohesive devices could enhance the overall flow of the essay, making it even smoother to read.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction is concise and sets the stage for the essay, outlining the main argument and counterpoints effectively.
supported main points
Each paragraph is well-structured with clear main ideas supported by relevant details and examples.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion effectively summarizes the key points and provides a balanced resolution to the debate.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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