These days many parents want their children to study a second language such as English. Do you think it is important for younger children to study a new language? Do you think schools should teach every student in primary school a second language?

language
is
method
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a method
the method
show examples
of communication between
peopleand
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people and
cultures and
learn
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learning
show examples
different
language
Fix the agreement mistake
languages
show examples
is helping
Wrong verb form
helps
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to improve any skill. In
this
essay, I will discuss the
important
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importance
show examples
of
learn
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learning
show examples
new
Add an article
a new
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language
.
In
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On
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one hand, a new
language
is very important
studied
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to study
show examples
by
yuonger
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younger
children, it can enhance cognitive development at
younger
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a younger
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age
that they
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which
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will improve
problems-solving
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problem-solving
show examples
skill
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skills
show examples
and creativity.
Secound
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Second
language
, especially English
language
can prepare children for a
futuer
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future
in a globalization world which
it
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apply
show examples
is increasing job opportunities and
culture
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cultural
show examples
understanding.
For example
, in
Oman
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Oman,
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90
percent
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per cent
show examples
of occupations
requaire
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require
required
mltilingualism
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multilingualism
especially English
language
to be in global companies like PDO and EXELL. Learning a
secound
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second
language
should
teach
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be taught
show examples
in elemanty school which
is improving
Wrong verb form
improves
show examples
overall
communication abilities
apply
Verb problem
and makes
show examples
children more adept at expressing
themselvesand
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themselves and
understanding others
as well as
they can make friends from
vary
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various
show examples
cultures and
educate
Verb problem
learn
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new ideas about new
educations
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education
show examples
.
for example
, privet
school
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schools
show examples
now provide teaching more than one
language
such
as
Frence
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France
French
, English, and
Chines
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Chinese
show examples
. These languages are more
commen
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common
between people and major companies
requir
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require
like
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apply
show examples
theis
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this
language
to obtain
job
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a job
the job
show examples
.
To sum up
,
every body
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everybody
show examples
should learn
new
Add an article
a new
show examples
language
but not forget their mother
language
becuase
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because
it
helpful
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is helpful
show examples
to improve our abilities on cognitive and
conacting
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connecting
skill
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skills
show examples
.
Moreover
,
schoolmust imprve
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schools improve
overall
cadidiante
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candidate
to be ready
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
graduate excellent pupils.
Submitted by asmaalbreiki5 on

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grammar
You need to improve your grammatical accuracy and spelling. Work on your punctuation and make sure to check your spelling (e.g., 'yuonger', 'futuer', 'requaire', 'privet', 'Frence', 'theis', 'becuase').
idea development
Make sure to thoroughly develop your ideas. Each point should be expanded with clear explanations and relevant examples. For instance, you mention that learning a second language improves cognitive skills, but you don't explain how this happens in detail.
introduction conclusion
While your introduction and conclusion are present, they could be stronger. Make sure to clearly state your thesis in the introduction and provide a more comprehensive summary in the conclusion.
examples
You have used some relevant examples, such as the situation in Oman and the types of languages taught in private schools.
structure
Your structure includes an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which is a good practice.
task response
You have addressed both parts of the question, discussing both the importance of learning a new language for younger children and whether it should be taught in primary schools.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cognitive development
  • Globalization
  • Multilingualism
  • Proficiency
  • Fluency
  • Cultural enrichment
  • Language immersion
  • Resource allocation
  • Bilingualism
  • Curriculum
  • Compulsory education
  • Pedagogy
  • Linguistic aptitude
  • Educational policy
  • Extracurricular activities
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