Over recent years, mobile phones have become an indispensable tool in our daily lives. However, there are several problems such as social and medical which must not be ignored. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of mobile phones.

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Mobile
phones
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have become increasingly popular in recent years, becoming an integral part of our daily
lives
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. They offer numerous services that assist with our regular activities and provide entertainment.
However
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, despite their usefulness, mobile
phones
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can be addictive and negatively impact our social and health
lives
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. Nowadays, mobile
phones
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are indeed tools that cannot be separated from our daily
lives
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. The digitalization of society has influenced our lifestyles, including the usage of mobile
phones
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.
People
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of all ages, from children to the elderly, are familiar with them. It is now normal for each family member to have their own mobile phone. Mobile
phones
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have many advantages in various aspects. Adults typically
use
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them for work, communication, and education. Children are more likely to
use
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them for entertainment,
such
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as watching YouTube or reading stories. Their small size makes them very convenient to carry around. Despite their advantages, there are
also
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several disadvantages to mobile
phones
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. Some
people
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become addicted and
use
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them excessively for non-essential activities,
such
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as playing games or watching movies for long periods.
This
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overuse can harm our health, as the light from mobile phone screens can strain our eyes.
Additionally
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, addiction to mobile
phones
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can lead to increased individualism, with
people
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tending to ignore their surroundings.
This
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can negatively affect their social
lives
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, as they prefer to socialize online rather than meeting
people
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in person. In conclusion,
while
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mobile
phones
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offer numerous benefits and have become indispensable in modern life, it is important to be aware of their potential drawbacks. Managing their
use
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responsibly can help mitigate the negative effects on our social interactions and health.
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task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt effectively, discusses both advantages and disadvantages, and provides a clear response. However, including more specific examples within the discussion (e.g., data or case studies) would strengthen the response further.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-organized and ideas flow logically from one paragraph to the next. Transition phrases help maintain this flow, but varying the transitions and linking words more frequently could increase cohesion.
task achievement
The essay clearly addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of mobile phones, maintaining a good balance between the points discussed.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame the discussion. Paragraphs are well-structured with clear main ideas and supporting points.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Indispensable tool
  • Excessive use
  • Social media
  • Smartphones
  • Access to information
  • Emergency calls
  • GPS navigation
  • Addiction
  • Eye strain
  • Potential radiation exposure
  • Superficial interactions
  • Face-to-face communication
  • Personal safety
  • Prolonged use
  • Quality time
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