Over recent years, mobile phones have become an indispensable tool in our daily lives. However, there are several problems such as social and medical which must not be ignored. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of mobile phones.

#years #phones #tool #lives

Mobile

phones

have become increasingly popular in recent years, becoming an integral part of our daily

lives

. They offer numerous services that assist with our regular activities and provide entertainment.

However

, despite their usefulness, mobile

phones

can be addictive and negatively impact our social and health

lives

. Nowadays, mobile

phones

are indeed tools that cannot be separated from our daily

lives

. The digitalization of society has influenced our lifestyles, including the usage of mobile

phones

People

of all ages, from children to the elderly, are familiar with them. It is now normal for each family member to have their own mobile phone. Mobile

phones

have many advantages in various aspects. Adults typically

use

them for work, communication, and education. Children are more likely to

use

them for entertainment,

such

as watching YouTube or reading stories. Their small size makes them very convenient to carry around. Despite their advantages, there are

also

several disadvantages to mobile

phones

. Some

people

become addicted and

use

them excessively for non-essential activities,

such

as playing games or watching movies for long periods.

This

overuse can harm our health, as the light from mobile phone screens can strain our eyes.

Additionally

, addiction to mobile

phones

can lead to increased individualism, with

people

tending to ignore their surroundings.

This

can negatively affect their social

lives

, as they prefer to socialize online rather than meeting

people

in person. In conclusion,

while

mobile

phones

offer numerous benefits and have become indispensable in modern life, it is important to be aware of their potential drawbacks. Managing their

use

responsibly can help mitigate the negative effects on our social interactions and health.

Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on Fri Jul 05 2024

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task achievement

The essay addresses the prompt effectively, discusses both advantages and disadvantages, and provides a clear response. However, including more specific examples within the discussion (e.g., data or case studies) would strengthen the response further.

coherence cohesion

The essay is well-organized and ideas flow logically from one paragraph to the next. Transition phrases help maintain this flow, but varying the transitions and linking words more frequently could increase cohesion.

task achievement

The essay clearly addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of mobile phones, maintaining a good balance between the points discussed.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame the discussion. Paragraphs are well-structured with clear main ideas and supporting points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

271 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Over recent years, mobile phones have become an indispensable tool in our daily lives. However, there are several problems such as social and medical which must not be ignored. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of mobile phones.

Fully explain your ideas

Students should be taught academic knowledge so that they can pass exams, and skills such as cooking or dressing should not be taught. To what extent do you agree/disagree?

In some cultures, people often tell children that they could achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this advice?

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some species of animals are almost extinct; and many others seem to be fast approaching a similar risk. What are the reasons for this? What should be done to solve this problem?

Environmental protection should be the responsibility of politicians, not individuals as individuals can do too little. To what extent do you agree or disagree?