Over recent years, mobile phones have become an indispensable tool in our daily lives. However, there are several problems such as social and medical which must not be ignored. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of mobile phones.
Mobile
phones
have become increasingly popular in recent years, becoming an integral part of our daily lives
. They offer numerous services that assist with our regular activities and provide entertainment. However
, despite their usefulness, mobile phones
can be addictive and negatively impact our social and health lives
.
Nowadays, mobile phones
are indeed tools that cannot be separated from our daily lives
. The digitalization of society has influenced our lifestyles, including the usage of mobile phones
. People
of all ages, from children to the elderly, are familiar with them. It is now normal for each family member to have their own mobile phone. Mobile phones
have many advantages in various aspects. Adults typically use
them for work, communication, and education. Children are more likely to use
them for entertainment, such
as watching YouTube or reading stories. Their small size makes them very convenient to carry around.
Despite their advantages, there are also
several disadvantages to mobile phones
. Some people
become addicted and use
them excessively for non-essential activities, such
as playing games or watching movies for long periods. This
overuse can harm our health, as the light from mobile phone screens can strain our eyes. Additionally
, addiction to mobile phones
can lead to increased individualism, with people
tending to ignore their surroundings. This
can negatively affect their social lives
, as they prefer to socialize online rather than meeting people
in person.
In conclusion, while
mobile phones
offer numerous benefits and have become indispensable in modern life, it is important to be aware of their potential drawbacks. Managing their use
responsibly can help mitigate the negative effects on our social interactions and health.Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on
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task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt effectively, discusses both advantages and disadvantages, and provides a clear response. However, including more specific examples within the discussion (e.g., data or case studies) would strengthen the response further.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-organized and ideas flow logically from one paragraph to the next. Transition phrases help maintain this flow, but varying the transitions and linking words more frequently could increase cohesion.
task achievement
The essay clearly addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of mobile phones, maintaining a good balance between the points discussed.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame the discussion. Paragraphs are well-structured with clear main ideas and supporting points.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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