Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Children
’s using
smartphones
habit is now one of the most controversial issues that people like to debate. I believe that
drawbacks
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the drawbacks
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of using electronic
device
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devices
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outweigh its benefits. When it comes to, the reason for
enormous
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the enormous
show examples
using
smartphones
in
younger
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the younger
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generation is the rapid development of technology.
Therefore
, a lot of
children
are often exposed to numerous online media platforms, resulting in
increasing
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an increasing
show examples
the
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apply
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number of
children
who use
smartphones
entire of the day.
Moreover
, a vast majority of parents bought
smartphones
to
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for
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children
, as they believe that it may encourage their
acadmeic
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academic
and prevent
children
from being exposed to threats and emergency situations.
As a result
, using
smartphones
for
children
in
ther
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their
daily lives is a common practice.
However
, there are several disadvantages
of
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to
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using
smartphones
. It can
exerts
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exert
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an extremely negative influence on
developmental
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the developmental
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stages of
child
Add an article
a child
show examples
in
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apply
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both physical and mental. For
instace
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instance
, if they invest a significant amount of time and energy
to
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in
show examples
using
smartphones
even at night, it causes a negative impact on their quality of
sleeping
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sleep
show examples
, decreasing their concentration in school.
Moreover
, evidence of
smartphones
effect
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affect
show examples
on
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apply
show examples
their academic development in a negative way. They might not be able to study
consistantly
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consistently
, as they can’t focus solely on
study
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
due to
smartphone
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smartphones
show examples
. In conclusion, these days,
smartphones
become a familiar device for
children
because of
the
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apply
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various reasons
such
as safety and improving skills.
However
,
rising
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the rising
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of the time to use
smartphones
does harm to maintain their health and disturb their studies. It has been greatly changing
children
’s way of life ever since it
is
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was
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introduced.
Submitted by dksrlgus1017 on

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coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, giving a well-rounded response to the task.
task achievement
The main points are generally relevant and tackle the prompt directly, providing a complete response to the given topic.
task achievement
There is a clear attempt to discuss both reasons for smartphone usage among children and the potential negative impacts, which balances the argument effectively.

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
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