Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest times of most people's lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibilities. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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In
this
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contemporary epoch, there has been a debate between
people
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who believe that childhood days are the most beautiful
while
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critics say that adult age helps to enjoy more
along with
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responsibilities. In my opinion, adult
people
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are happier
due to
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relentless freedom in their
lives
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.
This
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essay will delve into both views and will lead to a logical conclusion as well.
To begin
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with, the primary reason to support the first view is that the childhood period allows individuals to be stress-free in their
lives
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as they have their guardians to provide them with care and money. The harshness, cruelty, and complexity hardly touch the teenagers
thus
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, they can enjoy their
lives
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better than adults.
However
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, grown-ups have various responsibilities that they need to deal with and the most pivotal one is to earn for the living of their family. On the flip side, adults enjoy more financial freedom as they can make all the
decisions
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of their
lives
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by themselves without any interruptions by other
people
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. With the skills of proper money management and family understanding, they can have a wonderful
life
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. Adults can purchase every product that they wish for that makes them feel lucky to have the authority to make
decisions
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. In my opinion, the adulthood phase is better because it provides individuals the permission to make all the
decisions
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of their
life
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themselves
along with
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bringing the obligation of making accurate
decisions
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.
This
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is the most vital part of every human's
life
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as it is the base where they start learning and understanding the necessities of
life
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.
To conclude
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, as per the matrimonial mentioned above it is crystal clear whether childhood or adulthood both have their own benefits which are enjoyed by all the
people
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at a particular stage. But, adulthood brings much more advantages
along with
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some hardships.
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task achievement
Your introduction clearly outlines the topic and states your opinion, which is excellent. However, there's some room for improvement in how you express the contrast between opinions. Try to avoid phrases like 'critics say' and replace them with neutral expressions such as 'others believe,' to maintain an academic tone.
task achievement
While your main points are relevant and your argument is clear, providing more specific examples would strengthen your essay. For instance, mentioning particular scenarios or anecdotes from personal experience or common societal examples would make your argument more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure and flows well from one idea to the next. However, using more transitional phrases throughout the essay would improve the flow. Phrases such as 'on the other hand,' 'furthermore,' or 'in addition' can help guide the reader through your argument more smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to the clarity of your language. At times, your sentences are slightly long and complex, which can make them difficult to follow. Breaking long sentences into shorter, clearer ones can enhance readability.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction and conclusion are well-crafted and provide a clear framework for your essay. This helps the reader understand the main arguments and the conclusion you arrive at.
complete response
You have addressed both views and have provided your own opinion, satisfying the requirements of the task. This shows a comprehensive understanding of the essay prompt.
clear comprehensive ideas
The ideas in your essay are clear and relevant to the prompt. You provide a reasonable basis for your opinion and discuss both sides of the debate effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • adolescence
  • fulfillment
  • responsibilities
  • exploration
  • long-term goals
  • sense of stability
  • carefree
  • contentment
  • well-being
  • life stage
  • unique opportunities
  • deep satisfaction
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