Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest times of most people's lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibilities. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
In
this
contemporary epoch, there has been a debate between people
who believe that childhood days are the most beautiful while
critics say that adult age helps to enjoy more along with
responsibilities. In my opinion, adult people
are happier due to
relentless freedom in their lives
. This
essay will delve into both views and will lead to a logical conclusion as well.
To begin
with, the primary reason to support the first view is that the childhood period allows individuals to be stress-free in their lives
as they have their guardians to provide them with care and money. The harshness, cruelty, and complexity hardly touch the teenagers thus
, they can enjoy their lives
better than adults. However
, grown-ups have various responsibilities that they need to deal with and the most pivotal one is to earn for the living of their family.
On the flip side, adults enjoy more financial freedom as they can make all the decisions
of their lives
by themselves without any interruptions by other people
. With the skills of proper money management and family understanding, they can have a wonderful life
. Adults can purchase every product that they wish for that makes them feel lucky to have the authority to make decisions
.
In my opinion, the adulthood phase is better because it provides individuals the permission to make all the decisions
of their life
themselves along with
bringing the obligation of making accurate decisions
. This
is the most vital part of every human's life
as it is the base where they start learning and understanding the necessities of life
.
To conclude
, as per the matrimonial mentioned above it is crystal clear whether childhood or adulthood both have their own benefits which are enjoyed by all the people
at a particular stage. But, adulthood brings much more advantages along with
some hardships.Submitted by ss6802125 on
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task achievement
Your introduction clearly outlines the topic and states your opinion, which is excellent. However, there's some room for improvement in how you express the contrast between opinions. Try to avoid phrases like 'critics say' and replace them with neutral expressions such as 'others believe,' to maintain an academic tone.
task achievement
While your main points are relevant and your argument is clear, providing more specific examples would strengthen your essay. For instance, mentioning particular scenarios or anecdotes from personal experience or common societal examples would make your argument more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure and flows well from one idea to the next. However, using more transitional phrases throughout the essay would improve the flow. Phrases such as 'on the other hand,' 'furthermore,' or 'in addition' can help guide the reader through your argument more smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to the clarity of your language. At times, your sentences are slightly long and complex, which can make them difficult to follow. Breaking long sentences into shorter, clearer ones can enhance readability.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction and conclusion are well-crafted and provide a clear framework for your essay. This helps the reader understand the main arguments and the conclusion you arrive at.
complete response
You have addressed both views and have provided your own opinion, satisfying the requirements of the task. This shows a comprehensive understanding of the essay prompt.
clear comprehensive ideas
The ideas in your essay are clear and relevant to the prompt. You provide a reasonable basis for your opinion and discuss both sides of the debate effectively.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.