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Band 7.5

Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

#technology #people #viewpoints
In modern
life
,
technology
 changes the way
people
 maintain relationships.
While
 some
people
 argue that modern
technology
 made us more isolated than before, I side with those who feel that the changes have been overwhelmingly positive. On the one hand, it could be argued that modern
technology
 could pose two negative effects.
Firstly
, it causes
people
 to have less time to interact with others in real
life
.
This
 shallow
communication
 may minimize the possibility of knowing someone on a deeper because online personality potentially creates a false perception.
Furthermore
, it is true that young
people
 today have a tendency to spend their time glued to their screens rather than meeting
people
 in the flesh. Because of
this
, they not only reduce their ability to socialize but
also
 increase the proportion of get radiation effect.
On the other hand
, I agree with those who believe that there are some pros of modern
technology
. The first benefit is that
people
 have fast access to communicate instantly. A number of applications,
such
 as Zoom, WhatsApp, and G-mail allow
people
 to do online meetings, video calls, and send electronic messages. Another benefit is that
people
 can share
communication
 quickly. They will not need to worry about where and when they communicate because
communication
 is no longer governed by geographical location. In conclusion,
while
 modern
technology
 leads to negative sides in social
life
, the existence of modern
technology
 could ease
people
's
communication
 with others.
Therefore
, I remain convinced that modern
technology
 gives a number of benefits to human
life
.
Submitted by alfinkarimah008 on

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task achievement
To strengthen your argument, it's important to include more specific, relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge. For instance, mentioning a personal experience where technology helped maintain a relationship would be valuable.
coherence cohesion
Ensure to elaborate on points equally. While the pros of technology were presented well, the cons were not as thoroughly developed. Try to balance both sides more effectively.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that effectively summarise the main points.
task achievement
Your use of various applications like Zoom, WhatsApp, and G-mail as examples for instant communication adds specificity and relevance to your argument.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of the essay is commendable. The points are organized and each paragraph addresses a distinct idea, enhancing the readability.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • connectivity
  • communicate
  • social media
  • virtual meetings
  • global community
  • isolation
  • distract
  • face-to-face interaction
  • personal connections
  • dependency
  • technology addiction
  • digital divide
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