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Band 6.5

The graph below shows prediction about the number of people who will study three major world languages between 2020 and 2030

The graph below shows prediction about the number of people who will study three major world languages between 2020 and 2030
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The graph gives information about
changing
Correct article usage
the changing
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number
Use synonyms
 of studios in the world for three different languages over a decade from 2020 to 2030.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
Use synonyms
English
Correct article usage
the English
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subject
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 will gain more
but
Correct word choice
apply
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pupils in the next decade,
while
Linking Words
 the other two
language
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Use synonyms
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
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 will be less significant. Looking at the details, the
number
Use synonyms
 of people who
studied
Wrong verb form
study
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English
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 will increase from 550
million
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 to 700
million
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 between 2020 and 2030.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
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 during increasing
English
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language
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Use synonyms
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
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 will see a fluctuation once. After that,
Use synonyms
English
Correct article usage
the English
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language
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Use synonyms
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
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 will grow rapidly without any falling. If you look at two other
language
Use synonyms
 subjects, we can see those subjects will rise significantly over a ten-year between 2020 and 2030. In 2024, the
number
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 of people who studied
Spanish
Change the article
the Spanish
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language
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were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
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 two times higher than that of Mandarin
students
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, their
number
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 of studios
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 equal in 2024. Until 2026 their
number
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 of
students
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 will improve gradually, and their total of
students
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 will still be equal.
However
Linking Words
, the Mandarin
students
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 will start jumping remarkably from 2026 to 2030.
Finally
Linking Words
, the
number
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 of marketing
students
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 reach just below 600
million
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, and the
Spanish
Correct quantifier usage
number of Spanish
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 pupils will reach
at
Remove the preposition
apply
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500
million
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, english, subject, language, million, students with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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