Some people believe that the experiences children have before they go to school will have the greatest effect on their future life. Others argue that experiences gained when they are teenagers have a bigger influence. Discuss both views and give your own opinions.
Some suggest that the childhood memories before going to school have the most
impact
on their life
while
others say the juvenile experiences have a greater influence on their life
. In this
essay
I will present both sides of view with my opinion.
On one hand, The infant memory seems to be the most significant Add a comma
essay,
on
influence on Change preposition
apply
development
of our Add an article
the development
personality
. Several studies show personality
will not have significant changes since child
older than 6 and Fix the agreement mistake
children
personality
are strictly related to our behaviour or making decisions. Furthermore
, Personality
decides the personal perspective of the subject which is the fundamental explanation of our reaction to a particular issue. Although
the reaction to stimulate
may be different when we age, the opinion can be predicted by people who Replace the word
stimulation
has
Change the verb form
have
the
similar characteristics in Correct article usage
apply
personality
.
On the other hand
, the experience
we gain in
teenagers seems to Change preposition
as
be
a greater Verb problem
have
impact
on our life
. Teenagers are likely to make decisions on their own without parental assistance. In Fix the agreement mistake
lives
this
particular of
time, they are applying the knowledge they have learned and seeking opportunities to find Change preposition
apply
a clues
to overcome difficulties and gain Correct the article-noun agreement
clues
a clue
experience
in social interaction. Those personal experiences will benefit to
them Change preposition
apply
understanding
Change preposition
in understanding
their
strength they have and shape their behaviour which is more suitable for living in the community.
To summarise, I think the precious Change the word
the
experience
people gain during their youth period will have a greater impact
on their future lives. During this
age, they are more independent and less influenced by their parents. They have greater freedom and have
opportunities to seek the goal of their own Unnecessary verb
apply
life
. Thus
, it has a greater impact
than the infant experience
.Submitted by andy1031227 on
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relevant specific examples
Try to develop more detailed and specific examples to support your main points. This will help make your arguments more convincing.
logical structure
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear and focused topic sentence that aligns well with the main ideas being discussed. This will improve the overall logical structure of your essay.
introduction conclusion present
While your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, work on making the transition between paragraphs smoother to enhance cohesion.
complete response
The essay addresses both views of the topic and provides a personal opinion, which strengthens task achievement.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion effectively summarizes the argument and reinforces the writer’s viewpoint.
logical structure
The structure of the essay is easy to follow, with distinct paragraphs dedicated to each perspective and a final opinion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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