IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

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People
Use synonyms
 are working hard to have a
house
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 for themselves and their own families. Possessing a
house
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became
Wrong verb form
has become
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 a significant situation for residents, and there is a current debate among
people
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 in some countries. I totally support the view that it has many positive aspects,
instead
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 of negative ones, and will try to explain my opinions and the reasons for
this
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 situation in
this
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 essay. Holding personal property is,
Correct article usage
a causes
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causes
Correct subject-verb agreement
cause
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 that
people
Use synonyms
 could
legate
Correct your spelling
relate
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 to their descendants and use freely makes citizens feel better.
Hence
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 citizens opt for having a
house
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 rather than spending their wealth for other dispensable actions. To illustrate, residents think that if they have their own homes, they can use whatever they want and are not responsible for anything.
In contrast
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, when they rent an apartment, they have to pay attention to household equipment
such
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 as walls, furniture and kitchen gadgets.
On the other hand
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, preferring to purchase a
house
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instead
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 of hiring one is, leads to some advantages for
people
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 and governments. Having a home provides freedom for citizens, and
as a result
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 of
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this
Add a comma
this,
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 they can spend or invest their money for entertainment or diverse activities.
For instance
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, individuals can travel around
world
Add an article
the world
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 or go to exhibitions and join artistic activities
instead
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 of paying the majority of their salary for accommodation. In conclusion, payments create economic pressure on
people
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 who hire a home and they might not waste their money on whatever they want.
Conversely
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, if they have their own residence,
people
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 can be more independent and can focus on other investments and activities which
people
Use synonyms
 feel better.

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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, consider using more transitional phrases and connectors to ensure smooth flow between sentences and paragraphs. This will help link your ideas more effectively.
task achievement
For task achievement, ensure that each argument is fully developed with specific, detailed examples where possible. This will make your essay more persuasive and demonstrate higher-level thinking.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasings, such as 'Holding personal property is, causes that people could legate.' This can slightly hinder the flow and clarity of your essay.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear and well-structured argument, addressing both parts of the question: why owning a home is important and whether it is positive or negative.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both present and effectively summarize the main points of the essay, making it easy to follow the writer's argument.
task achievement
The essay provides relevant reasons and examples to support the points made, showing a good understanding of the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • ownership
  • renting
  • importance
  • sense of security
  • stability
  • financial investment
  • asset
  • customize
  • decorate
  • belonging
  • community
  • potential
  • future generations
  • long-term
  • cost advantage
  • control
  • living space
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