Improvements in health, education and trade are essential for the development of poorer nations. However, the governments of richer nations should take more respon sibility for helping the poorer nations in such areas. To what extent do you agree?
It is often
agrued
that a wealthy nation's higher authority should aid in improving the health, education and trade of the underprivileged. Correct your spelling
argued
This
essay will agree with this
statement because such
support can elevate the level of litracy
and improve the health of the citizens.
On the one hand, it is the authority's responsibility Correct your spelling
literacy
of
a richer country to allow access to good education. Change preposition
to
This
can be done by funding and investing schools with a
Correct the article-noun agreement
well structured educational systems
a well structured educational system
well structured
educational systems, and by granting scholarships to students of poorer nations to be able to study abroad. Add a hyphen
well-structured
For instance
, The University of Oxford,
provided scholarships to elite students in some schools in Nigeria to study medicine. Remove the comma
apply
Consequently
, such
grants increased level
of students' education coming from Correct article usage
the level
such
develeloping
countries.
Correct your spelling
developing
On the other hand
, a healthy nation is a significantly improtant
issue, and it is the role of Correct your spelling
important
a developed economies
to provide access to advanced medical technologies,Correct the article-noun agreement
developed economies
a developed economy
well trained
medical professionals, and medicine that may not be available to the poor. Add a hyphen
well-trained
For example
, the Medical University of Lodz in poland
Change the capitalization
Poland
,
sent a group of medical doctors to help train nurses of local hospitals in Uganda. Remove the comma
apply
Therefore
, such
developments drastically improved their healthcare systems.
In conclusion, in my opinion, wealthy nations are obliged to help the
developing economies, because they are capable and have more resources Correct article usage
apply
such
as medical facilities to help improve the
health standards Correct article usage
apply
as well as
to elevate the
educational programmes.Correct article usage
apply
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Grammar
Check for minor spelling errors such as 'argued' (instead of 'argued'), 'literacy' (instead of 'litracy'), 'developing' (instead of 'develeloping'), 'important' (instead of 'improtant'), and 'Poland' (instead of 'poland'). These should be corrected to form a more polished essay.
Grammar
Ensure that all sentences are grammatically correct and clear. For example, the phrase 'it is the authority's responsibility of a richer country' could be rephrased to 'it is the responsibility of the authorities in richer countries'.
Task Achievement
While your ideas are clear, provide more specific examples and evidence to support your points. For instance, mentioning the impact of education or health initiatives on a specific community can strengthen your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Maintain a consistent and logical flow throughout the essay. Your points are present but can benefit from clearer transitions and greater elaboration to enhance coherence and cohesion.
Task Achievement
The introduction clearly states the position you will argue in your essay, which is essential for a good task response.
Task Achievement
Your main points are relevant and directly address the question of whether wealthier countries should help poorer nations in areas like health and education.
Coherence and Cohesion
The structure of your essay is clear, with distinct paragraphs for different points, making it easy to follow your argument.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?