IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Improvements in health, education and trade are essential for the development of poorer nations. However, the governments of richer nations should take more respon sibility for helping the poorer nations in such areas. To what extent do you agree?

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It is often
agrued
Correct your spelling
argued
 that a wealthy nation's higher authority should aid in improving the health, education and trade of the underprivileged.
This
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 essay will agree with
this
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 statement because
such
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 support can elevate the level of
litracy
Correct your spelling
literacy
 and improve the health of the citizens. On the one hand, it is the authority's responsibility
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 a richer country to allow access to good education.
This
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 can be done by funding and investing schools with
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
well structured educational systems
a well structured educational system
show examples
well structured
Add a hyphen
well-structured
show examples
 educational systems, and by granting scholarships to students of poorer nations to be able to study abroad.
For instance
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, The University of Oxford
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 provided scholarships to elite students in some schools in Nigeria to study medicine.
Consequently
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,
such
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 grants increased
level
Correct article usage
the level
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 of students' education coming from
such
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develeloping
Correct your spelling
developing
 countries.
On the other hand
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, a healthy nation is a significantly
improtant
Correct your spelling
important
 issue, and it is the role of
a developed economies
Correct the article-noun agreement
developed economies
a developed economy
show examples
 to provide access to advanced medical technologies,
well trained
Add a hyphen
well-trained
show examples
 medical professionals, and medicine that may not be available to the poor.
For example
Linking Words
, the Medical University of Lodz in
poland
Change the capitalization
Poland
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 sent a group of medical doctors to help train nurses of local hospitals in Uganda.
Therefore
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,
such
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 developments drastically improved their healthcare systems. In conclusion, in my opinion, wealthy nations are obliged to help
the
Correct article usage
apply
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developing economies, because they are capable and have more resources
such
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 as medical facilities to help improve
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
health standards
as well as
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 to elevate
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
educational programmes.

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Grammar
Check for minor spelling errors such as 'argued' (instead of 'argued'), 'literacy' (instead of 'litracy'), 'developing' (instead of 'develeloping'), 'important' (instead of 'improtant'), and 'Poland' (instead of 'poland'). These should be corrected to form a more polished essay.
Grammar
Ensure that all sentences are grammatically correct and clear. For example, the phrase 'it is the authority's responsibility of a richer country' could be rephrased to 'it is the responsibility of the authorities in richer countries'.
Task Achievement
While your ideas are clear, provide more specific examples and evidence to support your points. For instance, mentioning the impact of education or health initiatives on a specific community can strengthen your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Maintain a consistent and logical flow throughout the essay. Your points are present but can benefit from clearer transitions and greater elaboration to enhance coherence and cohesion.
Task Achievement
The introduction clearly states the position you will argue in your essay, which is essential for a good task response.
Task Achievement
Your main points are relevant and directly address the question of whether wealthier countries should help poorer nations in areas like health and education.
Coherence and Cohesion
The structure of your essay is clear, with distinct paragraphs for different points, making it easy to follow your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Advanced medical technology
  • Training healthcare professionals
  • Essential medicines
  • Educational infrastructure
  • Scholarships or bursaries
  • Simplifying trade regulations
  • Reducing tariffs
  • Investing in local industries
  • Global economy
  • Moral obligation
  • Global economic stability
  • Mutually beneficial relationship
  • Sustainable practices
  • Self-reliance
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