Many wild animals have become endangered. Why has this happened? What can governments do to stop this from continuing to happen?
The past few decades have witnessed a dramatic decline in a large number of wild animal species . animal species .
There are several actions that suggest the
This
essay will look at some primary causes and propose a number of possible solutions that the government
can take to tackle the problem.
There are two main reasons for becoming endangered in some rare animals
. Firstly
, they are affected by illegal poaching from humans . For example
, poachers tend to hunt valuable products like ivory tusks , shark
scales . Another reason is deforestation . Using clear land for agriculture and logging can damage the habitat of various wild Correct word choice
and shark
animals
. As a consequence
, it offers
some threats to Verb problem
poses
survival
Correct article usage
the survival
Change preposition
of
government
to mitigate this
issue . To begin
with , the government
needs to come up with legislation about raising strict punishment for poachers . From that point , it can reduce attacking wild animals
. Not only that , the government
can provide a safe habitat for wildlife . By establishing conservation areas like national parks , nature reserves can offer an opportunity for wild animals
to develop and maintain races .
In conclusion , there are various factors leading to the extinction of wild animals
and some measures can be implemented to address this
issues
.Fix the agreement mistake
issue
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task response
Ensure your ideas are well-explained and supported with specific details and examples. This will make your arguments more convincing.
task response
Clarify some of your points further to avoid ambiguity. For instance, explain how certain government measures can be specifically implemented and monitored to protect wildlife.
coherence cohesion
Organize the essay into clear paragraphs to enhance readability. Ensure that each body paragraph contains one main idea supported by examples.
coherence cohesion
Work on transition phrases between sentences and paragraphs to maintain a smooth flow of ideas. This helps in guiding the reader through your argument coherently.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively introduce and summarize the topic respectively.
supported main points
You've provided relevant reasons such as illegal poaching and deforestation, which are significant factors contributing to the endangerment of wildlife.
task achievement
The essay includes some practical solutions like legislation and conservation areas which are relevant and feasible.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite