IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. Write at least 150 words. The chart below shows the number of adults participating in different major sports in one area, in 1997 and 2017.

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. Write at least 150 words. The chart below shows the number of adults participating in different major sports in one area, in 1997 and 2017.
#minutes #adults #sports #area
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The supplied bar chart illustrates how many mature
people
Use synonyms
 attended
to
Change preposition
apply
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seven various sports in one region in 1997 and 2017. It can be clearly seen that
,
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Tennis had the highest
number
Use synonyms
 of adult participation.
However
Linking Words
,the mature
people
Use synonyms
 did not prefer to play basketball,which had the least
number
Use synonyms
 of attending over the period. The
number
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 who chose to play tennis was nearly 55/000 in 2017,compared to 1997 with 50/000 adults.
Moreover
Linking Words
,the
quantity
Change the quantifier
number
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 of mature populations who preferred to play Rugby and Football in 2017 was considerably more than
people
Use synonyms
 who liked to play them in 1997 with approximately 50/000 and 30/000,respectively. The
number
Use synonyms
 of
community
Fix the agreement mistake
communities
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 who tended to go swimming levelled off with roughly 35/000 in 1997 and 2017.
In addition
Linking Words
,25/000
of
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apply
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mature
people
Use synonyms
 participated in Cricket sports in 1997.Whilst,just under 10/000
of
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apply
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people
Use synonyms
 attended
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Cricket courses in 2017.Surprisingly,the
number
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 who chose to participate in basketball classes in 2017 was significantly more than
people
Use synonyms
 who wanted to play basketball in 1997 with 22/000 and 9/000,respectively.
Submitted by TUTOO on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, number with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 5 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Participation levels
  • Major sports
  • Noticeable changes
  • General trend
  • Increase/Decrease
  • Stable
  • Sport-specific
  • Popularity
  • Speculate
  • Societal changes
  • Technological impact
  • Growth in sports culture
  • Influential events
  • Prediction
  • Future trends
  • Data analysis
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