IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

You have just finished a language course provided by your company and want an- other. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter you should say: - why you liked the course - why you need more - and say where and when the course should take place

#language #course #company #an- #manager #place
Dear John Smith, I am writing regarding the service provided by the company, which I overjoyed the most and I would like to pursue my time in learning French language as well.
Firstly
, one thing I liked in my previous course was the timing. We received classes at the work recreational room, which is extremely convenient for the employees to manage their working hours and do extra-curricular activities.
Similarly
, I have been in Canada for eight years and I want to grasp a second popular language in
this
 country. I already have some basic knowledge of
this
 speech, but I am eager to get more skills in
this
.
However
, I recently got the timetable for
this
 study. Tuition is going to start on the 15th of July in Block B, which is beside
this
 company. I am planning to get admission to
this
 educational ceremony. I look forward to hearing from you. Yours faithfully, Harpreet Kaur.
Submitted by harpreet291kaur on

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task achievement
Try to elaborate more on why you need to learn French for your job or personal development to fully satisfy the task response criteria.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to maintain a clear structure throughout the letter. For instance, the first paragraph could briefly introduce the purpose, while subsequent paragraphs delve into the details in a logical sequence.
task achievement
You've demonstrated a polite and professional writing tone, which is suitable for the context.
coherence cohesion
Your greeting and closing are appropriate and add a formal touch to the letter.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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