Nowadays, an increasing number of people with health problems are using alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their normal doctor. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

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As usual, people look for
doctors
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when they have health issues.
However
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, various
medicines
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and treatments are quite popular nowadays.
This
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trend may have some positive aspects, but they are insignificant compared to its negative aspects.
Therefore
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, it is a negative development. Significant risks are associated with using unapproved alternative
medicines
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and treatments. Health departments have yet to prove or approve these treatments scientifically, so their safety and effectiveness are not guaranteed.
Moreover
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, their origins can be traced back to ancient times, potentially leading to dangerous consequences for our health. Another significant barrier is that we do not know exactly if the
medicines
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we are using are good or bad.
Therefore
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, it would be better to visit
doctors
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because they have a good background and a long learning process throughout training. They learn in-depth about the treatment of diseases. More importantly,
doctors
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can solve some serious issues and difficult surgeries that
medicines
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can not deal with.
Additionally
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,
doctors
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can check and find out the origin of our diseases. From that, they can understand and give us some beneficial methods and suitable drugs to treat them effectively. In conclusion, if we catch any diseases, it would be better to visit and seek advice from
doctors
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.
Submitted by anh0829 on

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Expand on your third and fourth paragraphs to include more detailed arguments and evidence. This can provide a fuller picture of your point of view and enhance the clarity of your ideas.
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coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame your argument well.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is well-organized, with each paragraph focusing on a specific point related to your thesis.
task achievement
You effectively address the prompt by discussing both positive and negative aspects, ultimately taking a clear stance on the issue.
task achievement
Your arguments are generally clear, and you provide a reasoned explanation for why you believe visiting doctors is preferable to using alternative medicines.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • alternative medicines
  • treatments
  • positive development
  • negative development
  • health problems
  • usual doctor
  • access
  • personalized approach
  • holistic well-being
  • lack of regulation
  • evidence-based research
  • proper medical treatment
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