In some countries one in the home rather than renting his important for people white might be the case is this a positive or negative development

In today's materialistic
world
Add a comma
world,
show examples
it's a
dream
of every youth to own a
house
rather than
renting
Replace the word
rent
show examples
which can be taken as
negative
Add an article
a negative
show examples
development and is discussed below.
To begin
with, it's a
dream
of every youth to claim
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
ownership of the
house
to live in, it not only
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
show examples
shelter but
also
economic stabilities freedom and
sense
Correct article usage
a sense
show examples
of livelihood which is not possible in
rented
Add an article
a rented
the rented
show examples
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
show examples
which
Change preposition
in which
show examples
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
temporary tenants are
force
Wrong verb form
forced
show examples
by
owrners
Correct your spelling
owners
for vacating the room at
anytime
Replace the word
any time
show examples
which is stressful for everybody. In
additional
Replace the word
addition
show examples
dream
of buying
Add an article
a
show examples
home not only has
positive
Add an article
a positive
show examples
impact but
also
negative
Correct article usage
a negative
show examples
due to
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
high demand
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
property
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
show examples
have sky rocketed, making low salaries in
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
unlikely to
afforda
Correct your spelling
afford a
house
pushing them
being
Change the verb form
to be
show examples
homeless or in a rented
house
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
a major
concerned
Replace the word
concern
show examples
for authorities
for example
data published by you and state that really millions of citizens become homeless
due to
the affordability and force to remain and depression
due to
is
this
trend,it can be taken as negative development.
To conclude
it's always a
dream
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
everybody to to claim ownership of
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
house
for shelter ,freedom and security which fail to happen in a rented home apart from the demand
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
property
is
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
very high making
impossible
Correct pronoun usage
it impossible
show examples
for
lower incom
Correct your spelling
lower-income
people forcing them to being homeless which can be taken as negative development.
Submitted by piratijaiswal1992 on

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coherence cohesion
To improve logical structure, ensure that each paragraph has a clear and distinct point that supports the overall argument. Currently, the essay's progression of ideas can feel somewhat disjointed. Each paragraph should have a clear topic sentence followed by supporting details.
task achievement
Revise your introduction to more clearly articulate your main argument. The sentence structure and punctuation in your introduction can be improved to make it more coherent.
task achievement
Provide more relevant and specific examples to strengthen your arguments. Be careful with factual claims - for example, verify the accuracy of statistics before including them in essays.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames your argument effectively.
task achievement
Your main points such as economic stability and sense of livelihood in owning a home, and high demand leading to skyrocketing property prices, are relevant and pertinent to the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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