IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

In some countries one in the home rather than renting his important for people white might be the case is this a positive or negative development

#countries #home #people #case #development
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In today's materialistic
world
Add a comma
world,
show examples
 it's a
dream
 of every youth to own a
house
 rather than
renting
Replace the word
rent
show examples
 which can be taken as
negative
Add an article
a negative
show examples
 development and is discussed below.
To begin
 with, it's a
dream
 of every youth to claim
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
ownership of the
house
 to live in, it not only
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
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 shelter but
also
 economic stabilities freedom and
sense
Correct article usage
a sense
show examples
 of livelihood which is not possible in
rented
Add an article
a rented
the rented
show examples
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
show examples
which
Change preposition
in which
show examples
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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temporary tenants are
force
Wrong verb form
forced
show examples
 by
owrners
Correct your spelling
owners
 for vacating the room at
anytime
Replace the word
any time
show examples
 which is stressful for everybody. In
additional
Replace the word
addition
show examples
dream
 of buying
Add an article
a
show examples
home not only has
positive
Add an article
a positive
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 impact but
also
negative
Correct article usage
a negative
show examples
due to
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 high demand
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
property
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
show examples
 have sky rocketed, making low salaries in
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
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 unlikely to
afforda
Correct your spelling
afford a
house
 pushing them
being
Change the verb form
to be
show examples
 homeless or in a rented
house
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
a major
concerned
Replace the word
concern
show examples
 for authorities
for example
 data published by you and state that really millions of citizens become homeless
due to
 the affordability and force to remain and depression
due to
 is
this
 trend,it can be taken as negative development.
To conclude
 it's always a
dream
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
everybody to to claim ownership of
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
house
 for shelter ,freedom and security which fail to happen in a rented home apart from the demand
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 property
is
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
very high making
impossible
Correct pronoun usage
it impossible
show examples
 for
lower incom
Correct your spelling
lower-income
 people forcing them to being homeless which can be taken as negative development.
Submitted by piratijaiswal1992 on

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coherence cohesion
To improve logical structure, ensure that each paragraph has a clear and distinct point that supports the overall argument. Currently, the essay's progression of ideas can feel somewhat disjointed. Each paragraph should have a clear topic sentence followed by supporting details.
task achievement
Revise your introduction to more clearly articulate your main argument. The sentence structure and punctuation in your introduction can be improved to make it more coherent.
task achievement
Provide more relevant and specific examples to strengthen your arguments. Be careful with factual claims - for example, verify the accuracy of statistics before including them in essays.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames your argument effectively.
task achievement
Your main points such as economic stability and sense of livelihood in owning a home, and high demand leading to skyrocketing property prices, are relevant and pertinent to the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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