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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the number of trips made by children in one country in 1990 and 2000 to travel to and from school using different types mode of transport. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the number of trips made by children in one country in 1990 and 2000 to travel to and from school using different types mode of transport. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#trips #children #country #travel #school #mode #transport #summaries #information #features #comparisons
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The bar graph illustrates how many young people visited to and from school by five various types of transportation in two years (1990 and 2000).
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the popularity of all modes of transport decreased
by
Change preposition
over
show examples
 time, with the notable exception of
car
Correct article usage
the car
show examples
, which became the most favoured over the period. In terms of vehicle transport, the number of children
travelled
Wrong verb form
travelling
show examples
 to and from
scholl
Correct your spelling
school
 by car was 4
million
Use synonyms
,
however
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 value dramatically rose in 20 years and reached a peak of just over 12
million
Use synonyms
, which made
this
Linking Words
 type of transportation
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the leader in 2010.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the level of bus usage, which was the most popular choice in 1990, halved in
following
Correct article usage
the following
show examples
 two decades. In regard to other methods of transportation, walking and cycling options were at
same
Add an article
the same
show examples
 level of 6
million
Use synonyms
 in the beginning, but travelling on foot saw a significant drop of 50% in 2010.
This
Linking Words
 trend was followed by bicycle transport, which
experinced
Correct your spelling
experienced
 a sharp fall of one-third in
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 twenty years.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of pupils
Correct pronoun usage
who preferred
show examples
preferred
Correct pronoun usage
who preferred
show examples
 both bus and cycling was 7
million
Use synonyms
 and after
than
Replace the word
then
show examples
 went down to 5
million
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by Aqxniet on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words million with synonyms.
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