A large company in your area has decided to spend a certain amount of money, either to sponsor a local children's sports team for two years, or to pay for two open-air concerts. It has asked for feedback from the general public. Write a letter to the company. In your letter • describe the benefits of sponsoring the sports team • summarise the benefits of paying for the concerts • say how you think the company should spend the money

#company #area #amount #money #sponsor #children #sports #team #two #years #concerts #feedback #summarise

Dear Sir or Madam, As a long-term resident of the Carlingford district, I am writing to you to express my opinion about a budget to spend on local children’s sports teams or organising a couple of free concerts. It is totally true that our community needs more investment in the environment and events of children. If we solve the financial problems of children’s sports teams, it could give results that we would have a fit and healthy kid.

This

can be good behaviour for their life. The concert has advantages in our community, especially for adults.

For example

, they will have a chance to meet their friends, and everyone in

this

area can

also

release stress. But,

this

is not a choice for us to spend that amount of money on two-night concerts. I would suggest that it has better results if we can invest the money for the kids.

This

is going to be the investment for their whole life even if the investment covers two years. I look forward to hearing from you. Sincerely, Eric

Submitted by enkhbat0923 on Sun May 05 2024

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Task Achievement

Ensure to provide balanced detail for both aspects of the discussion to fully meet the task requirement.

Task Achievement

Consider expanding on the benefits with specific examples or deeper insight to strengthen your arguments.

Coherence and Cohesion

Try to link ideas and paragraphs more seamlessly with a variety of connecting words and phrases.

Structure

Effective use of paragraphing to structure the letter.

Task Achievement

Clear conclusion indicating your stance, which strengthens the overall response.

Tone

Warm and polite tone appropriate for the target audience.

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

177 words

8.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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