The first chart below shows the number of British visitors to the US and American visitors to the UK from 2011 to 2015. The second chart shows the amount spent by those visitors in that period.

The first chart below shows the number of British visitors to the US and American visitors to the UK from 2011 to 2015. The second chart shows the amount spent by those visitors in that period.
The left bar graph shows
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
of
British
people
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
the US and American
people
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
the UK for
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
between 2011 and 2015. The right one shows
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
total
amount
of their spending by those visitors in the same period. Regarding the number of visitors in
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
countries,
British
travelers
Change the spelling
travellers
show examples
have consistently
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
visited
US
Correct article usage
the US
show examples
over the
whold
Correct your spelling
whole
hold
period.
However
, its number fluctuated around 3
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
and 3.5
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
. Meanwhile, about 2.5
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
and over 3
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
American travelers visited
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
. Those figures both peaked at 3.5
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
and 3.3
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
, respectively, in 2015. In terms of spending,
British
tourists generally spent $4 billion US dollars in three consecutive years (2011, 2012, 2013).
However
, it started to
skyrocketed
Change the verb
skyrocket
show examples
significantly
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
2014, reaching almost $6 billion US dollars in
following
Add an article
the following
show examples
year.
Similarly
, the
amount
spent by American
people
stagnated from 2011 to 2013, with figures of around $3 billion dollars, but increased gradually by 2014. The two bar graphs clearly demonstrate that the number of UK and US tourists didn’t experience
a substantial increases
Correct the article-noun agreement
a substantial increase
substantial increases
show examples
between 2011 and 2015.
However
, it is notable that the
amount
spent
of
Change preposition
by
show examples
British
people
soared sharply over the period.
Submitted by jb22809467 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
Vocabulary: Replace the words amount, british, people, millions with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!