IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Task 2 In some countries, owing a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be case ? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation ?

#countries #home #people #be #case #situation
People in some countries nowadays people tend to possess their own property rather than stay in rented houses become a popular phenomenon. Investing money in private houses becomes increasingly considered to be beneficial in the future becomes the primary reason for
this
 case. Personally,
this
 is a positive condition which will contribute many merits for those who owe that. On the one hand, recently a high amount of money can be invested in many kinds, as property is one of them. Considered a long-term investment, a property
such
 as a
house
 could have an increase in price trough the time, which will contribute a big amount of profit when it is sold after a long period. Private Houses in Pondok Indah Jakarta are an example, where the prices rapidly change
according to
 the high demand for living space in a metropolitan city
such
 as Jakarta, Indonesia.
Furthermore
, by owning a private
house
, people can inherit it for the next generation to ensure that they will have real insurance for living in the future.
On the other hand
, by owning a
house
, a sense of life satisfaction can be fulfilled for some who want to live in a private space. They will have the freedom to design what their
house
 will be and fill it with furniture based on their passion and financial ability.
Furthermore
, they will not be concerned about who they will share their living zone with, which is totally different when they live in an apartment or other kind of rented
house
.
To conclude
, it seems to me that being a residence owner will contribute more positive impacts on our lives. We will fulfil a sense of belonging as we are free to do what we want to be in our private living area.
Submitted by k a l l a on

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task achievement
The essay should provide more detailed explanations and examples to fully support the main points. For instance, elaborating more on why property prices increase and how this investment compares to other types of investments would improve clarity.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure by better linking the paragraphs and ensuring a smooth flow of ideas. Transitional phrases can help with this.
task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt adequately by discussing why owning a home is important and providing insights into its positive aspects.
task achievement
Generally, the main points are supported by relevant examples, such as the reference to house prices in Jakarta.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • ownership
  • renting
  • importance
  • sense of security
  • stability
  • financial investment
  • asset
  • customize
  • decorate
  • belonging
  • community
  • potential
  • future generations
  • long-term
  • cost advantage
  • control
  • living space
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