In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Somepeople say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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The debate over the implications of having an ageing population has sparked considerable controversy. I vehemently believe that the negative impacts of

this

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notion far surpass its few benefits

due to

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the reasons

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essay

further

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elaborates on. One major drawback of

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trend is the workforce decline in affected countries. By lacking physical strength and having a potential mental impairment, the elderly cannot take up numerous jobs.

Hence

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, the unemployment rates would surge and

also

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, the job market would experience a downfall, ultimately jeopardizing a country's economic stability.

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this

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instability negatively impacts individuals' living standards.

Moreover

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, the old people's potential infirmities require the government to dedicate substantial resources to healthcare services,

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threatening their economy. Iran,

for instance

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, where old people account for the greatest group of the population, has been grappling with economic recession

due to

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the lack of suitable employees and enormous resource allocations to hospitals.

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, the positive effects of

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notion should not be overlooked. One potential merit of

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trend is the heightened possibility of preserving a country's cultural heritage.

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is mainly because the elderly stand as the great sources of traditional knowledge

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as rural practices and ancient ways of life.

As a result

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, youngsters can draw on their experiences to form a sense of identity, prior to promoting national pride. Take China as an example; where a pleasant pastime among teenagers is spending time with their grandparents and credit their grandparents for being sophisticated about their rich culture. Despite these benefits, it comes at the cost of posing a significant threat to a nation's economic situation;

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, affecting its status on a global scale. In conclusion,

although

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there are few positive implications for countries where the old generation makes up the majority of their populations, I firmly believe the negative sides of it are of higher significance. In fact,

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notion devastatingly affects not only the job market and individuals' life satisfaction but

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puts countries' economies in danger.

bita.rezaei7052Sun Jul 07 2024

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coherence cohesion

To improve coherence and ensure a smooth flow, try using more transitional phrases between paragraphs and ideas. This can help guide the reader through your arguments more seamlessly.

task achievement

Ensure that each paragraph is fully developed. Some points about economic instability and resource allocation could benefit from additional elaboration or examples for better clarity.

task achievement

Incorporate a few more varied sentence structures and vocabulary to enhance your writing style and keep it engaging. This will also demonstrate a higher command of the language.

task achievement

The essay addresses the prompt clearly and provides a balanced view by discussing both advantages and disadvantages of an ageing population.

task achievement

Use of specific, relevant examples (Iran, China) strengthens the arguments and makes them more relatable.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, contributing to its overall coherence.

coherence cohesion

Main points are generally well-supported with reasoning and examples, which helps in developing a convincing argument.

13
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

329 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Life expectancy
Demographic shift
Healthcare infrastructure
Pension funds
Intergenerational solidarity
Consumer demographics
Workforce participation
Cultural heritage
Urban planning
Assisted living facilities
Socio-economic challenges
Sustainable development

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