In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Somepeople say an ageing population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

The debate over the implications of having an ageing population has sparked considerable controversy. I vehemently believe that the negative impacts of
this
notion far surpass its few benefits
due to
the reasons
this
essay
further
elaborates on. One major drawback of
this
trend is the workforce decline in affected countries. By lacking physical strength and having a potential mental impairment, the elderly cannot take up numerous jobs.
Hence
, the unemployment rates would surge and
also
, the job market would experience a downfall, ultimately jeopardizing a country's economic stability.
Additionally
,
this
instability negatively impacts individuals' living standards.
Moreover
, the old people's potential infirmities require the government to dedicate substantial resources to healthcare services,
further
threatening their economy. Iran,
for instance
, where old people account for the greatest group of the population, has been grappling with economic recession
due to
the lack of suitable employees and enormous resource allocations to hospitals.
However
, the positive effects of
this
notion should not be overlooked. One potential merit of
this
trend is the heightened possibility of preserving a country's cultural heritage.
This
is mainly because the elderly stand as the great sources of traditional knowledge
such
as rural practices and ancient ways of life.
As a result
, youngsters can draw on their experiences to form a sense of identity, prior to promoting national pride. Take China as an example; where a pleasant pastime among teenagers is spending time with their grandparents and credit their grandparents for being sophisticated about their rich culture. Despite these benefits, it comes at the cost of posing a significant threat to a nation's economic situation;
therefore
, affecting its status on a global scale. In conclusion,
although
there are few positive implications for countries where the old generation makes up the majority of their populations, I firmly believe the negative sides of it are of higher significance. In fact,
this
notion devastatingly affects not only the job market and individuals' life satisfaction but
also
puts countries' economies in danger.
Submitted by bita.rezaei7052 on

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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and ensure a smooth flow, try using more transitional phrases between paragraphs and ideas. This can help guide the reader through your arguments more seamlessly.
task achievement
Ensure that each paragraph is fully developed. Some points about economic instability and resource allocation could benefit from additional elaboration or examples for better clarity.
task achievement
Incorporate a few more varied sentence structures and vocabulary to enhance your writing style and keep it engaging. This will also demonstrate a higher command of the language.
task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt clearly and provides a balanced view by discussing both advantages and disadvantages of an ageing population.
task achievement
Use of specific, relevant examples (Iran, China) strengthens the arguments and makes them more relatable.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion, contributing to its overall coherence.
coherence cohesion
Main points are generally well-supported with reasoning and examples, which helps in developing a convincing argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Life expectancy
  • Demographic shift
  • Healthcare infrastructure
  • Pension funds
  • Intergenerational solidarity
  • Consumer demographics
  • Workforce participation
  • Cultural heritage
  • Urban planning
  • Assisted living facilities
  • Socio-economic challenges
  • Sustainable development
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