IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the number of tourists visiting a particular Caribbean island between 2010 and 2017. Summerise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the number of tourists visiting a particular Caribbean island between 2010 and 2017. Summerise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#tourists #caribbean #island #summerise #information #features #comparisons
The line chart illustrates the
quantity
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of
visitors
 who
traveled
Change the spelling
travelled
show examples
 to
Brighton
, the
UK
, during
this
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 7 years from 2009 and 2016.
Overall
 the total
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tourists visiting
Brighton
, the
Uk
Correct your spelling
UK
show examples
 increased year by year
Besides
, the
number
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
visitors
 that
staying
Wrong verb form
stayed
show examples
 on
cruise
Add an article
a cruise
the cruise
show examples
ship
Fix the agreement mistake
ships
show examples
was fewer than the people who
choose
Wrong verb form
chose
show examples
 to stay on
island
Correct article usage
the island
show examples
According to
diagram
Add an article
the diagram
a diagram
show examples
, in 2009, the total
number
 of visitor who
traveled
Change the spelling
travelled
show examples
 to
Brighton
 the
Uk
 was 2
million
 approximately 1.5
million
 people staying on the stand,
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
 the others staying at
cruise
 ships. Over the period from 2010 to 2011,the
number
 of
visitors
 staying on
cruise
 ships dramatically dropped
reached
Wrong verb form
reaching
show examples
 its bottom
just
Change preposition
of just
show examples
 under 0.5
million
 , but there was an upward trend in
number
Add an article
the number
show examples
 of those who
staying
Wrong verb form
stayed
show examples
 on
island
Add an article
the island
show examples
 In the 5 years spanning from 2011 through
2016
Add a comma
2016,
show examples
 the
number
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
visitors
traveled
Wrong verb form
travelling
show examples
 to
Brighton
 the
Uk
Correct your spelling
UK
show examples
 sharply went up to 7
million
.
Furthermore
, the
number
 of tourists staying on
cruise
 ships rapidly increases to
4million
Correct your spelling
4 million
surpass
Wrong verb form
surpassing
show examples
 those who staying on the island (
3million
Correct your spelling
3 million
)
Submitted by yuwen027 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words visitors, brighton, uk, number, cruise, million with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "numbers of" was used 7 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Fluctuate
  • Trend
  • Peak
  • Decline
  • Increase
  • Decrease
  • Stable
  • Dramatic rise
  • Gradual decline
  • Visitor numbers
  • Period
  • Data points
  • Rapid growth
  • Comparison
  • Tourism trends
  • Economic factors
  • Natural disasters
  • Marketing promotions
  • Seasonal variations
  • Impact
What to do next:
Look at other essays: