IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8

Some people argue that historic buildings should be preserved in their original form. Others argue that this is both inadvisable and impossible. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #buildings #form
Historical
places
 are crucial for cultural significance and unique identity on the global level. Some people believe that historical
buildings
 should be maintained in their original form,
while
 others argue that
this
 is not possible and advisable. In my opinion,
although
this
 construction should be preserved for cultural and architectural significance, and the economic growth of countries, it is harder to prevent the deterioration of these monuments.
To begin
 with, these memorials are crucial for the fundamental recognition of the nations and provide cultural and architectural knowledge.
For instance
, the Taj Mahal in India facilitates an understanding of earlier designers and the culture of that time.
Additionally
, these monuments contribute to economic growth, as these
places
 attract tourists and
also
 enable foreign exchange.
Thus
, it is of paramount importance to make efforts to preserve these
buildings
 in their original forms.
However
, preservation of these memorials is impossible because the material by which
buildings
 are constructed is older, and after one stage every material goes to decay.
For example
, the walls of the Red Fort in India deteriorated to the extent that the walls somehow lost their authenticity and originality.
Moreover
, the renovation of these monuments needs a lot of money and skilled workers, which sometimes goes out of budget for the government.
Therefore
, the maintenance of these
buildings
 needs a myriad of efforts and money.
To sum up
, historical
places
 are significant for cultural and architectural purposes, and it is crucial to maintain the authenticity of these regions, even though, the preservation of these fragile
places
 needs a plethora of effort and money.
Submitted by sangeetakamboz on

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coherence cohesion
Work on smoothening transitions between paragraphs to enhance the flow of ideas. Using linking phrases can help with this.
task achievement
Avoid ending your essay abruptly in the middle of a sentence. Ensure that all points are fully discussed and concluded clearly.
task achievement
Further elaborate on opposing viewpoints to demonstrate a more balanced discussion of perspectives.
introduction conclusion present
The essay begins with a clear introduction that outlines the different viewpoints and presents a clear thesis statement.
relevant specific examples
Specific examples like the Taj Mahal and Red Fort are used effectively to support arguments, adding depth to the discussion.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion successfully summarizes the main points discussed and reiterates the importance of historical preservation.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • tangible connections
  • cultural heritage
  • architectural features
  • economically beneficial
  • safety regulations
  • environmental standards
  • functional facilities
  • significant alterations
  • integrating modern elements
  • extending lifespan and relevance
  • technical challenges
  • financially unfeasible
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