The government should invest in education and health care. Governments should invest these funds in tourism. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

#government #education #health #care #governments #funds #tourism

Many people believe that authorities should spend more

money

in the field of

education

and

health

care rather than

tourism

Tourism

is necessary to make

money

and to get away from everyday stresses;

however

, it cannot outweigh the importance of

education

and medical services, so I agree with the first statement. First of all,

education

is the process in which a nation's knowledge is enhanced by training. If anyone, in

this

contemporary world, wants to gain hands-on experience with sophisticated technologies, he or she must have to spend a handsome amount of

money

;

otherwise

, they will not be able to gain proper training as these modern instruments are too costly.

For example

, before 2021, the country Sri Lanka spent millions of US dollars on

tourism

sectors. Unfortunately, their investment in

tourism

could not save their economic collapse. If they would spend on

education

, they would get proper suggestions on where they should invest their

money

On the other hand

, medical services are one of the primary needs of a country; without

this

sector, it is not possible to get a healthy nation.

As a result

, it is necessary to invest more in

health

sectors to make people's lives better and secure so that they can enjoy the tour.

For instance

, a study was conducted in Finland in 2022 where 2000 physically injured individuals gave their opinions and said they could not enjoy their lives rather than visit any new place. From

this

point, we can say that if we invest more in healthcare, people will be healthier and they will be able to enjoy more. In conclusion,

although

tourism

is necessary in our daily lives,

education

and

health

care are more crucial for a nation.

Education

paves the way for good

tourism

, so the government should spend more currency on

education

as well as

health

care.

Submitted by zobaermasum12 on Fri Oct 18 2024

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coherence cohesion

Enhance the connection between ideas within paragraphs. The flow can be improved with additional linking words or phrases.

task achievement

Try to include more specific examples or data to validate your points. This will strengthen your arguments.

task achievement

The essay presents a clear and comprehensive response to the task, addressing key areas such as education and healthcare versus tourism.

coherence cohesion

Logical structure is evident, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion present throughout the essay.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

305 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Investment: capital allocation towards a sector, often for development or improvement.
Long-term economic growth: sustainable increase in a country’s economic productivity over an extended period.
Knowledgeable workforce: employees who are well-educated and trained, capable of driving innovation.
Healthcare services: medical services, including prevention, treatment, and management of illnesses.
Economic sustainability: responsible management of resources to ensure long-term economic health.
Tourism: industry focusing on travel for leisure, which contributes to a nation's economic revenue.
External factors: variables outside of a country's control that can impact its economy or sectors.
Foundation: the base or groundwork upon which further development can be built.
Societal welfare: the well-being of a community in terms of health, education, and economic conditions.
Social equity: fairness and equality in access to opportunities and resources within a society.

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