IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?

#week #workers #weekend
It is sometimes argued that individuals should have more
days
 off and the working
time
 should be shorter. To some extent, I agree with
this
 notion. Working shorter and spending more
time
 on
holidays
 has both negative and positive sides. On the one hand, taking more
days
 off has many advantages,
Firstly
, in some important occupations, it is crucial to have enough
time
 for recreation.
For instance
, working eight hours a day behind a computer as a programmer could be
devastated
Replace the word
devastating
show examples
 sometimes, harming both physical and mental health.
Secondly
, shorter
time
 with more breaks helps employee's performance, I remember when I worked only four
days
 a week on a network simulation project, I had more enthusiasm to continue and work on the project.
Lastly
, people can learn new skills related to their work during the
holidays
.
On the other hand
, we cannot ignore the drawbacks of
holidays
. Some jobs are important than others and consecutive
holidays
 can lead to a catastrophe.
For example
, policemen, nurses, teachers, etc have more sensitive jobs.
Also
, it can be challenging for globalisation, like intercontinental jobs. They have to interconnect with each other only during working
days
, more
days
 off means less communication with the world.
Similarly
, it is worth mentioning that shorter work
time
 can be impossible and unrealistic for many principals and managers,
thus
, it depends on the individual's career. In conclusion, working shorter and having more
days
 off has its advantages and drawbacks, depending on the occupation's situation.
Submitted by amir1375.6 on

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task achievement
To improve further, ensure that each argument is fully developed and consider including counter-arguments or rebuttals for a balanced perspective.
coherence cohesion
The coherence could be enhanced by ensuring a more seamless flow between arguments. Use more varied linking phrases and ensure each point logically follows from the previous one.
coherence cohesion
Work on precision in language and avoid minor grammatical slips to make the essay even clearer and more professional.
introduction conclusion present
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the argument.
supported main points
Main points are supported with specific examples, making the arguments more compelling.
task achievement
The essay offers a balanced view, recognizing both the advantages and drawbacks of the topic.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • motivation
  • mental well-being
  • work-life balance
  • job satisfaction
  • pollution levels
  • traffic congestion
  • consumer spending
  • economic implications
  • leisure and service sectors
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