IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many museums and historical sites are mainly visited by tourist and not locals. What is the cause? and give solutions.

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It is true that a
number
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 of historical
places
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 and museums are primarily visited by travellers from different parts of the country or from abroad. Local people,
on the other hand
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, hardly go to these areas. There are reasons why
this
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 is happening,
however
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; the
government
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 and teachers can work hand in hand to counter
this
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 concern and entice the locals to explore their own historic landmarks. One of the reasons why there is
significant
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a significant
the significant
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number
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 of local people who do not visit historical
sites
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 is that they are used to seeing them. When you have lived in a particular area for a long time, you do not necessarily get interested
to explore
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in exploring
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 your own
surrounding
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surroundings
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,
for example
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, areas that embody history. The natives,
as a result
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, choose to either travel in different regions of the country
,
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apply
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 or even in other foreign nations to see for themselves various historic landmarks.
Moreover
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, some teachers rarely implement in their lessons learning and exploring
about
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apply
show examples
their own heritage
sites
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 which
lead
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leads
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 to students losing
interests
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interest
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about
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in
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 these wonderful
places
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. In the Philippines,
for instance
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, a great deal of teachers, in my experience, almost never impart in their learning plans about visiting
places
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 rich in history nor do they make plans for excursions. A sad reality that must be stopped.
Although
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 local residents hardly ever explore their own historical
sites
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 and museums, I believe there are solutions that can be done to increase the
number
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 of local visitors in these particular areas. The local
government
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 can advertise the beautiful historical locations
in
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on
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 various social platforms
such
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 as
,
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apply
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 Instagram, Facebook, or
Tiktok
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TikTok
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. Doing
this
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,
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apply
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 will definitely attract them to pay a visit just as much as other tourists.
In addition
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,
Government
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 and schools must include excursions in their curriculum, by
this
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, students will be widely informed of the beauty of their own history and historic landmarks.
To conclude
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, several historical
places
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 are not visited by the local populace, even though
this
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 is the case, the
government
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 and educational providers can work together to help boost the
number
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 of local people exploring their own historical
sites
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.

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task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your points. For instance, mention specific historical sites or museums that have seen a drop in local visitors.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Use transitional phrases more consistently to connect your ideas clearly.
coherence cohesion
Avoid repetition of ideas. For example, instead of repeatedly mentioning the lack of local interest, explore more unique reasons or solutions.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clearly presented and effectively outline the main ideas.
task achievement
The essay provides a clear and complete response to the prompt, addressing both the causes and potential solutions.
task achievement
The ideas are generally comprehensive and easy to understand, making the essay accessible to readers.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • historical sites
  • museums
  • locals
  • tourists
  • attraction
  • exhibits
  • entrance fees
  • promotions
  • educational activities
  • transportation issues
  • modern entertainment
  • cultural visits
  • target audience
  • engagement
  • ongoing interest
What to do next:
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