Some people believe that nowadays there are too many choices. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement ?

Some guys consider that these days we have a various of options.
This
essay agrees with
this
idea because, in
this
modern century we have lots of possibilities to get a good job with satisfying income.
In addition
, technological advancement in
this
era gives them opportunity to think that we have a too many choices.
Also
, a vast number of manufactured goods, that had been very useful for our societies and lifestyle. Because of
this
developments, several individuals believe that right now we have a very good occasion to choose our alternatives. The technical industry has decreased until the 2000-2001, But after 2010’s all kind of technology was developed and increased.
For example
: Samsung Heavy Industries (the world's second largest shipbuilder measured by 2010 revenues),and Samsung Engineering and Samsung C&T Corporation (respectively the world's 13th and 36th largest construction companies).So, thats why some popularity assume for diversity of pick. To summarise, that high-tech culture is developing multivariable for our future generations.
This
makes it clear, in the other hand, currently we have numerous alternatives for living: we live and will live in a high flexibility era.
Submitted by akzharkynzhamal on

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task achievement
You've made a good start by addressing the topic, but it would benefit from more structured and clear arguments. Ensure each paragraph has a single main idea supported by details and examples.
coherence cohesion
Your essay would benefit from smoother transitions and more logical progression between ideas. The current structure is somewhat fragmented.
task achievement
Ensure examples are directly relevant and clearly explained to strengthen your argument. For instance, explaining how technological advancements create choices would provide a clearer connection to your main point.
coherence cohesion
Some sentences are unclear due to grammatical errors. Try to review your work to correct issues that might obscure your meaning.
coherence cohesion
You've introduced and concluded your essay, which helps to frame your argument.
task achievement
The essay topic is directly addressed throughout, showing a good understanding of the task.

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • overwhelmed
  • decision fatigue
  • paralysis by analysis
  • consumerism
  • globalization
  • personal autonomy
  • market saturation
  • option overload
  • decision-making process
  • psychological well-being
  • buyer's remorse
  • customization
  • trade-offs
  • minimalism
  • information superhighway
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