In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

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Many parts of the world are expecting an influx of
people
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from the
countryside
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to urban
areas
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, which leads to overpopulated cities but scarcely populated rural
areas
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. In my opinion,
this
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development is having many negative impacts on both urban and rural
areas
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. An increasing number of
people
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reside
Wrong verb form
residing
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in urban
areas
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can be problematic in various ways. More residents
leads
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lead
show examples
to more serious traffic congestion and
consequently
Linking Words
the air quality of the place will degrade or even become polluted.
Besides
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, the growing
population
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put the
city
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under great pressure regarding
to
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apply
show examples
employment and social security. Job seeking is one of the common drives that makes
people
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decide to live in a
city
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. If the rate of
umemployment
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unemployment
is high in one area, it usually has a knock-on effect on the crime rate of that area. The fact that
people
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cluster in urban
areas
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also
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negatively
affect
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affects
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the
countryside
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.
People
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moving to
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city
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the city
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are primarily young
people
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of working age, which
also
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means that the
remainining
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remaining
population
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in the
countryside
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is mostly the elderly or children.
This
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kind of
population
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is generally not beneficial much to the
economical
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economic
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climate of the
countryside
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. In the long term, there grows a shortage of workforce in
Correct article usage
the agricutural
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agricutural
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agricultural
sector in rural
areas
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yet
abudant
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abundant
in
labor
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labour
show examples
in the
city
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. In conclusion, the growing
population
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of urban
areas
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is imposing
an
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a
show examples
formidable challenge on both the cities and the
countryside
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. Thorough consideration and actionable measures are necessary
in reducing
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to reduce
show examples
future consequences of overpopulated and poorly planned urban
areas
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.
Submitted by vungoc2910 on

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task achievement
Use more specific examples to support your points. For example, mention specific cities or countries where rural to urban migration has caused traffic congestion or high unemployment rates.
coherence cohesion
Make sure there is a clear connection between your points. Some transitions could be smoother. For example, the shift from discussing traffic congestion to employment and social security can be made more seamless.
general language
Watch out for minor language errors. Pay attention to articles, subject-verb agreement, and spelling mistakes like 'umemployment' and 'agricutural'
introduction
The introduction clearly sets up the topic and gives a clear thesis statement.
conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reinforces the thesis statement.
supporting ideas
Main ideas are generally well-supported with logical reasoning.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • rural-to-urban migration
  • population shift
  • positive impact
  • negative impact
  • urbanization
  • job opportunities
  • access to education
  • access to healthcare
  • urban infrastructure
  • rural traditions
  • cultural heritage
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