In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
Many parts of the world are expecting an influx of
people
from the countryside
to urban areas
, which leads to overpopulated cities but scarcely populated rural areas
. In my opinion, this
development is having many negative impacts on both urban and rural areas
.
An increasing number of people
reside
in urban Wrong verb form
residing
areas
can be problematic in various ways. More residents leads
to more serious traffic congestion and Change the verb form
lead
consequently
the air quality of the place will degrade or even become polluted. Besides
, the growing population
put the city
under great pressure regarding to
employment and social security. Job seeking is one of the common drives that makes Remove the preposition
apply
people
decide to live in a city
. If the rate of umemployment
is high in one area, it usually has a knock-on effect on the crime rate of that area.
The fact that Correct your spelling
unemployment
people
cluster in urban areas
also
negatively affect
the Correct subject-verb agreement
affects
countryside
. People
moving to city
are primarily young Add an article
the city
people
of working age, which also
means that the remainining
Correct your spelling
remaining
population
in the countryside
is mostly the elderly or children. This
kind of population
is generally not beneficial much to the economical
climate of the Replace the word
economic
countryside
. In the long term, there grows a shortage of workforce in Correct article usage
the agricutural
agricutural
sector in rural Correct your spelling
agricultural
areas
yet abudant
in Correct your spelling
abundant
labor
in the Change the spelling
labour
city
.
In conclusion, the growing population
of urban areas
is imposing an
formidable challenge on both the cities and the Change the article
a
countryside
. Thorough consideration and actionable measures are necessary in reducing
future consequences of overpopulated and poorly planned urban Change preposition
to reduce
areas
.Submitted by vungoc2910 on
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task achievement
Use more specific examples to support your points. For example, mention specific cities or countries where rural to urban migration has caused traffic congestion or high unemployment rates.
coherence cohesion
Make sure there is a clear connection between your points. Some transitions could be smoother. For example, the shift from discussing traffic congestion to employment and social security can be made more seamless.
general language
Watch out for minor language errors. Pay attention to articles, subject-verb agreement, and spelling mistakes like 'umemployment' and 'agricutural'
introduction
The introduction clearly sets up the topic and gives a clear thesis statement.
conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reinforces the thesis statement.
supporting ideas
Main ideas are generally well-supported with logical reasoning.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.