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Band 3.5

Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest time of most people lives. Other think that adults life brings more happiest, in spite of great responsibility. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

#people #years #time #lives #adults #life #spite #responsibility
According to
 the
age
stages
 , some people prefer the teenage over the adolescent
while
, others believe that the adult
age
 is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
happier, In
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
 I shall
elobrates
Correct your spelling
elaborates
elaborate
 on the point of views
Firstly
. We have to argue that all the
stages
 are crucial , as humans should pass via whole thesos phases,
hence
, the teenage
is
Verb problem
years are
show examples
 a learning and discovering period ,
consequently
, there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 no responsibilities , time for building and power.
Although
Correct word choice
However
show examples
,
adolescent
Replace the word
adolescence
show examples
is
Change the verb form
is also considered
show examples
also
 consider an important era , as
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
humans are becoming
more wise
Replace the words
wiser
show examples
 than
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
teenage
Correct your spelling
teenagers
show examples
 because of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
knowledge and puberty.
additionally
, the formation of the body organs has been configured
as well as
 the hormones have been
stabled
Replace the word
stable
show examples
, so
this
 is a
spring time
Correct your spelling
springtime
show examples
 of ages , but the duties become more difficult than the person when he /she was younger.
Furthermore
, the requirements of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life and the
age
 demand will increase.
To sum up
 , all
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
ages are important for
formation
Correct article usage
the formation
show examples
our
Change preposition
of our
show examples
 mental and physical states ,
Correct your spelling
due
dute
Correct your spelling
due
 to , the passing through the different
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
learning
stages
 , All the
stages
 are great ,
this
 is
significant
Add an article
a significant
show examples
 matter we should have to accept.
Other
Fix the agreement mistake
Others
show examples
 prefer the adult
periods
Fix the agreement mistake
period
show examples
according to
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
 conditions,
while
 others like the teenage, about me , I see all the years are
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
,
hence
 we can make ourselves happy
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 any
age
.
Submitted by sarah.baghdad20 on

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grammar
Work on improving the grammatical accuracy of your sentences. For example, 'elobrates' should be 'elaborates,' and 'dute to' should be 'due to.' Additionally, ensure that sentences are complete and clear.
organization
Organize ideas into well-structured paragraphs. Clearly separate your discussion of teenage years from that of adulthood, and ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea with supporting details.
examples
Expand on specific examples to support your points. For instance, you could provide examples of activities that make the teenage years enjoyable or responsibilities that adults have to manage. This will make your argument more compelling.
task response
You addressed both views as required by the task, which demonstrates an understanding of the topic.
conclusion
Your conclusion presents a balanced view, acknowledging the value of both stages of life.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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