Research shows that some activities are good for health and others are bad.Despite knowing that millions of people engage in unhealthy activites. What is the cause of this? What can be done?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Nowadays, new

sports

Use synonyms

have been published by individuals. Some studies demonstrate that some

sports

Use synonyms

are beneficial,

while

Linking Words

others have drawbacks for our health.

However

Linking Words

, a diverse range of people are encouraged to do these unhealthy activities, and they notice its hazards. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I will illustrate the hazards and how to tackle them.

To begin

Linking Words

with, a diverse range of

sports

Use synonyms

can have side effects over time,

such

Linking Words

as boxing and wrestling. These

sports

Use synonyms

have a wide range of fans between young and old ages.

Moreover

Linking Words

, the income from these

sports

Use synonyms

is massive.

For instance

Linking Words

, the fight of the era was between Floyd and Habeebovic. The winner was awarded about three hundred million dollars.

In addition

Linking Words

, they are fighting for glory and money without considering the consequences. It

also

Linking Words

proved that

sports

Use synonyms

players who play violent activities are more affected by brain cancer disease. Likely Mohamed Ali, he was the best wrestler ever.

However

Linking Words

, he retired at an early age because he was diagnosed with brain damage. A possible solution would be affording more safety measures to tackle the risk of injury. The government should impose penalties and charge them more taxes to diminish the proliferation of these

sports

Use synonyms

Furthermore

Linking Words

, they can reduce the match rounds and time.

This

Linking Words

can help in alleviating the amount of punches. Ultimately, a wide spectrum of countries has forbidden

this

Linking Words

type of sport

likewise

Linking Words

Norway. They

also

Linking Words

banned them from any funds or privileges. In conclusion, the government should play a critical role in

this

Linking Words

issue. It should apply penalties on these types of

sports

Use synonyms

as a result

Linking Words

it can be the watcher especially the kids will be violent. The players should be more responsible for their health and not be tempted by glory and money.

mohannadsmeMon Jul 08 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea. For instance, you can dedicate one paragraph to discussing why people participate in unhealthy activities and another to potential solutions.

task achievement

Present a thorough argument with diverse perspectives. While you have a good start, expanding on the reasons why people pursue these activities despite the health risks would strengthen your response.

coherence cohesion

Check for language accuracy and clarity. Phrases like 'affording more safety measures' could be more clearly expressed as 'implementing more safety measures.'

coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are clear and provide a good framework for your essay.

task achievement

You provide relevant examples, like the mention of famous fighters, which make your arguments more compelling.

task achievement

Your essay addresses both the causes and solutions for the issue, which aligns well with the task requirements.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

293 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion.
In modern life, technology has transformed the way that we form and maintain relationships. For some, these changes have been overwhelmingly positive but others believe that they have made us more isolated than before. I think that both of these views are valid but that the benefits outweigh the disadvantages.
8
band
There are some problems in the changing room in your sport center. Write a letter to the sport center manager. In your letter, you should: - Describe the problems in the changing room - Explain why the sport center is important for you - Suggest what the manager should do.
I am writing this letter to express my disappointment regarding the changing rooms of a sports centre that I noticed are not in good condition.
6.5
band
Many people now undertake extreme activities, from hang-gliding to mountain climbing. Why do people risk their lives in this way, and do you think this is a good trend? Give reasons for your answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Nowadays, a growing number of people are drawn to thrilling activities, from hang-gliding to mountain climbing. This essay will explore the reasons behind individuals' desire to participate in such potentially hazardous pursuits, and I believe this trend has both positive and negative aspects.
7
band
Genetic engineering is an important issue in society today. Some people think that it will improve people’s lives in many ways. Others feel that it may be a threat to life on earth. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
It is true that genetic engineering is a key area of modern scientific research, with broad implications for all human societies. While I accept that this field of technology may have its dangers, I believe that the benefits of genetic engineering outweigh the drawbacks.
7
band
Some people think that the Olympic Games is an exciting event and can bring nations together. Others, however, think that it is a waste of money. Discuss both these views and give your own opinio
Many residents believe that the Olympic games which are impressive festivals connect many countries together, although others think it might be better to spend on other things instead of wasting money on the events. This writer argues with the former due to developing tourism and connecting global culture, despite those who believe that the Olympics is a waste of money.

Research shows that some activities are good for health and others are bad.Despite knowing that millions of people engage in unhealthy activites. What is the cause of this? What can be done?

Your opinion

Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion.

There are some problems in the changing room in your sport center. Write a letter to the sport center manager. In your letter, you should: - Describe the problems in the changing room - Explain why the sport center is important for you - Suggest what the manager should do.

Many people now undertake extreme activities, from hang-gliding to mountain climbing. Why do people risk their lives in this way, and do you think this is a good trend? Give reasons for your answer, and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Genetic engineering is an important issue in society today. Some people think that it will improve people’s lives in many ways. Others feel that it may be a threat to life on earth. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that the Olympic Games is an exciting event and can bring nations together. Others, however, think that it is a waste of money. Discuss both these views and give your own opinio