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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart shows the number of visitors to three London Museums between 2007 and 2012. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart shows the number of visitors to three London Museums between 2007 and 2012. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#bar #visitors #three #london #museums #information #features #comparisons
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The chart illustrates how many
traveler
Change to a plural noun
travelers
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coming
Wrong verb form
came
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 to the National
Gallery
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, Victoria and Albert
Museum
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, and the British
Museum
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 over a six-year
period
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 from 2007 to 2012.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the National
Gallery
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 and the British
Museum
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 hit their highest
number
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 of guests in 2012, as both
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number
Change to a plural noun
numbers
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 of visitors tended to increase throughout the
period
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.
According to
Linking Words
 the data, the National
Gallery
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 served an increasing
number
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 of
travelers
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travellers
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 every year, except in 2011. The
number
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 rose up from around 6 million visitors in 2007, to more than double over the
period
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 of six years.
Similarly
Linking Words
, the
number
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 of guests coming to the British
Museum
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 tended to increase as well, albeit not as much as the growth in the National
Gallery
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, by around 2 million people six years later.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the
number
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 of
travelers
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travellers
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 coming to
Victoria
Correct article usage
the Victoria
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 and Albert
Museum
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 showed a downward trend during the six-year
period
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. Started at around 14 million tourists
coming
Verb problem
apply
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in 2007, it fell
down
Change preposition
apply
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by one-third
at the end
Linking Words
 of the
period
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by michellyonggo on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words gallery, museum, period, number with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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