Children are facing more pressure from academic, social and commercial perspectives. What are the causes of such pressure? What measures can be taken to reduce it?

#children #pressure #perspectives #measures

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Nowadays, more burdens have been added to the youths. These burdens are from studying, socialising and financial issues. These put them under pressure,and they will not be able to endure

this

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. In

this

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essay, I will illustrate the causes and the measurements that can be done to tackle it.

To begin

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with, A wide range of adolescents are struggling

due to

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the commitments and the duties that they are involved in. The universities are imposing more assignments and clinical work.

However

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, they can not terminate it in time and they feel that they will lose marks. The exams

also

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are complicated and need more time to be studied.

In addition

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, there is peer pressure which can be a dilemma for them. They feel that their family should foster them

instead

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of frustrating them. Ultimately, adults are aware of their families and how their families are sacrificing for them. They are forbidden from any entertainment to provide the money for their children.

Furthermore

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, a wide range of solutions can be implemented. A possible solution would be reducing the unnecessary subjects.

For instance

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, In Egypt, they do not involve music, language and sports subjects in the final marks. Moving

further

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, the government can impose subsidies and incentives for their citizens.

This

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can enhance their life quality and alleviate any burden with them.

For example

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, during the epidemic of coronavirus. The German government published fund compensations for their citizens. In conclusion, our kids are too young to endure any load. They are still young and have the right to delight their age and enjoy playing with their relatives. The government should play a vital role in

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issue and be responsible more for their youths.

Submitted by mohannadsme on Mon Jul 08 2024

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clear comprehensive ideas

Ensure all sentences are grammatically correct and clear, which will improve the overall clarity and comprehensiveness of your ideas.

relevant specific examples

Provide specific and detailed examples to support your points. This will make your arguments more convincing and relevant.

logical structure

Organize your essay by using clear topic sentences and logical sequencing of ideas. This enhances the coherence and cohesion of your essay.

complete response

Your essay provides a thorough examination of the causes of pressure faced by children and suggests several measures to address it.

introduction conclusion present

There is a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your essay.

supported main points

The main points are generally well-supported with explanations and examples, making your essay more convincing.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5

6.5

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

6.5

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

7.5

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

6.5

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

282 words

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Children are facing more pressure from academic, social and commercial perspectives. What are the causes of such pressure? What measures can be taken to reduce it?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Wild animals have no place in the 21st century, so protecting them is a waste of resources. To what extent do you agree or disagree?e?

In some countries, it can be difficult for people over the age of 50 to get good jobs, despite their experience. What do you think are the causes and effects of this problem?

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

Men are placed in mist high-level jobs. Government should encourage a certain percentage of these jobs to be reserved for women. Do you agree or disagree?