Children are facing more pressure from academic, social and commercial perspectives. What are the causes of such pressure? What measures can be taken to reduce it?

#children #pressure #perspectives #measures

Nowadays, more burdens have been added to the youths. These burdens are from studying, socialising and financial issues. These put them under pressure,and they will not be able to endure

this

. In

this

essay, I will illustrate the causes and the measurements that can be done to tackle it.

To begin

with, A wide range of adolescents are struggling

due to

the commitments and the duties that they are involved in. The universities are imposing more assignments and clinical work.

However

, they can not terminate it in time and they feel that they will lose marks. The exams

also

are complicated and need more time to be studied.

In addition

, there is peer pressure which can be a dilemma for them. They feel that their family should foster them

instead

of frustrating them. Ultimately, adults are aware of their families and how their families are sacrificing for them. They are forbidden from any entertainment to provide the money for their children.

Furthermore

, a wide range of solutions can be implemented. A possible solution would be reducing the unnecessary subjects.

For instance

, In Egypt, they do not involve music, language and sports subjects in the final marks. Moving

further

, the government can impose subsidies and incentives for their citizens.

This

can enhance their life quality and alleviate any burden with them.

For example

, during the epidemic of coronavirus. The German government published fund compensations for their citizens. In conclusion, our kids are too young to endure any load. They are still young and have the right to delight their age and enjoy playing with their relatives. The government should play a vital role in

this

issue and be responsible more for their youths.

Submitted by mohannadsme on Mon Jul 08 2024

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clear comprehensive ideas

Ensure all sentences are grammatically correct and clear, which will improve the overall clarity and comprehensiveness of your ideas.

relevant specific examples

Provide specific and detailed examples to support your points. This will make your arguments more convincing and relevant.

logical structure

Organize your essay by using clear topic sentences and logical sequencing of ideas. This enhances the coherence and cohesion of your essay.

complete response

Your essay provides a thorough examination of the causes of pressure faced by children and suggests several measures to address it.

introduction conclusion present

There is a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your essay.

supported main points

The main points are generally well-supported with explanations and examples, making your essay more convincing.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

282 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5

6.5

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

6.5

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

7.5

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

6.5

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Children are facing more pressure from academic, social and commercial perspectives. What are the causes of such pressure? What measures can be taken to reduce it?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

WRITING TASK 2: Some people think that parent should teach children how to be good member of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion?

Nowadays, there is a trend that reports of media focus on problems and emergencies rather than positive development. Some people think it is harmful to individuals and to society. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

nfluence of human beings on the world ecosystem is leading to the extinction of species and loss of biodiversity. What are the primary causes of loss of bio diversity? What solution can you suggest?

Many people like to eat unhealthy food even though they know it's bad for them. Why is this? What is an effective way to improve people's healthy eating habits?