The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?
In recent decades, there has been a rising debate over whether the number of days off during the week should be extended or not. I am strongly convinced that shorter working hours can be highly beneficial because of some reasons stated in
this
essay.
First of all, once the policy is implemented, it may bring many advantages to employees’ well-being. This
is because they will have more days to rest and pursue their hobbies. As a result
, their negative emotions might be released as well and their energy is recharged, which can lead to an improvement in concentration and work performance. To illustrate, in some countries, a reduction in the required time at the office has shown positive effects on improving staff’s health and productivity.
Secondly
, a shorter working week can also
be advantageous for employers and their businesses. Even though the number of hours workers spend on the job decreases, the quality of their output seems to be higher because when they are well-rested and motivated, they can attain a more positive outcome in a shorter time. In addition
, as the workers have more days off to spend with their family and relationships, they are likely to feel satisfied with their jobs. This
can lead to a lower turnover rate which may help to save a lot of money and effort on recruiting and training new staff.
In conclusion, I hold a firm belief that shortening the working hours can bring several benefits to both employees and the business. However
, it is crucial to consider all the pros and cons before implementing this
policy as it may not be suitable for all types of corporations.Submitted by ieltswritingpracticedl on
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task achievement
While the thesis statement is clear, it could be slightly more nuanced. Consider articulating precisely why a shorter work week is beneficial, as it would add depth to your stance.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and add transitional phrases to guide the reader smoothly from one idea to the next.
coherence cohesion
The essay contains a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a strong framework for your argument.
task achievement
You have comprehensively addressed the task by discussing several benefits of a shorter work week.
task achievement
The examples provided, such as the improvement in staff health and productivity, effectively support your argument.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite