IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

With the development of the media online, there is no future for the radio. To what extent do you agree?

#development #media #future #radio
Classic
radio
 will cease to exist as online platforms grow in popularity.
This
 essay totally concurs with the idea because online
media
 offers more benefits compared to the
radio
 and is
also
 more convenient to use. The first rationale why
radio
 is not able to compete against the
media
 is that it is less beneficial to users. Online
media
 is an integration of hot
news
, dramatic events, or a library of information that entices millions of
people
whereas
 the sole role of the
radio
 is to listen to the daily
news
, the
media
 not only includes that but can outperform it.
For example
, the BBC
news
 website updates special reports and coverage of sporting events or the financial market, which frequently attracts a large number of individuals on a daily basis.
On the other hand
, most of the
radio
's topics are about dull broadcasts and municipal transit. Another reason why the
media
 is preferred by
people
 is because it is more accessible than the traditional cassette. In today's world, we can have instant access to a vast amount of information by simply touching a screen.
People
 may now easily access the internet and websites thanks to smartphones.
As a result
,
news
 sources are available anywhere, eliminating the need for the
radio
.
In contrast
 to a light and delicate iPhone, the
radio
 is bulkier, heavier, and not portable. A clear example is that nowadays in the street, it is easy to notice that everyone has smart devices accompanied with them, but no one brings a
radio
 together.
To conclude
, online
media
 is used widely by many
people
 because of its greater benefits,
therefore
,
radio
 with
such
 limitations will soon die out in the near future.
Submitted by maymocsb on

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task achievement
To enhance your task achievement, make sure all main points are elaborated with even more specific examples or evidence. While your essay is clear and comprehensive, additional specific examples could further strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Although your essay is logically structured, consider using more connectors and transitional phrases to ensure every paragraph flows smoothly into the next. This will make the reading experience even more coherent.
task achievement
Your essay provides a clear, complete response to the topic. You've articulated a strong opinion and supported it with relevant arguments and examples.
coherence cohesion
The structure of your essay is logical and easy to follow, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Each paragraph is well-developed with consistent main points and supporting details.
task achievement
You have successfully integrated specific examples, such as the BBC news website and the portability of smartphones, which illustrate and enhance your arguments effectively.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • media consumption
  • diversifies
  • live streaming
  • podcasts
  • extinction
  • emergency broadcasting
  • accessibility
  • affordability
  • nostalgic
  • cultural significance
  • adaptability
  • relevance
  • community building
  • local news dissemination
  • emerging artists
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