Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? what could be disadvantages for being self employed?
Today, more and more adults decide to work independently rather than being hired by a corporation.
This
essay will first suggest that people's increased desire for freedom and the invention of new technologies could be the main reasons for this
phenomenon. Despite the mass high interest in self-employment, it actually has its own downside such
as its negative influences on someone's psychological well-being.
Recent research studies have found that the majority of people in this
modern society demand a much more flexible lifestyle compared to their previous generations. Due to
that reason, almost 90% of Gen Z decided to be self-employed. That is
why we now have new trendy occupations, for instance
, influencers, YouTubers, or vloggers.
Advanced technological inventions also
play a significant role in changing our way of living, including the way people pursue their careers. Take freelance designers as an example, they could make a living working from their own bed with only a laptop or tablet.
Although
this
career path may lead to lots of freedom compared to conventional office jobs, being self-employed might force a person to spend much more time working even harder which usually causes a higher stress level. Additionally
, being self-employed often means that there is no fixed 9 to 5, and those who work with random working hours usually face the frightening feeling of uncertainty.
In conclusion, many youngsters are now choosing to be self-employed rather than to work in a certain institution. Two important reasons for this
change are the new way of living expectations growing among the youth and rapid ITC innovations. Even though it is a popular decision, self-employment could cause bad impacts such
as burnout and instability.Submitted by lidyaprmata on
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task achievement
The essay provides a complete response to the task, addressing both reasons for people choosing self-employment and potential disadvantages. However, to score higher, include statistical data or real-world examples to fortify arguments.
task achievement
The essay is clear and nearly comprehensive in presenting ideas, but ensure the use of more varied sentence structures and vocabulary to enhance clarity and richness.
coherence cohesion
Link ideas more effectively to improve coherence. For instance, ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs to guide the reader seamlessly through the argument.
coherence cohesion
To boost cohesion further, consider including a few more linking phrases and conjunctions to reinforce the connection between points, such as 'Moreover', 'Additionally', or 'Consequently'.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are strong, clearly outlining and summarizing the reasons for and disadvantages of self-employment.
coherence cohesion
The essay logically organizes its arguments and maintains a clear direction throughout, which supports overall coherence.
task achievement
Main points are generally well-supported with relevant examples, making the essay insightful and persuasive.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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